Favorite Quotes

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:07 am

Bob1062 wrote:This just in from the National Dinner Organization- breakfast sucks!! eat another dinner instead!!

Bob, you obviously go to bed too early to be a REAL tuba player

LoyalTubist · Post by **LoyalTubist** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:32 am

If you love something, let it go, set it free.

If it comes back to you, it is yours forever.

If it never comes back to you,

HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT!!!

TMurphy · Post by **TMurphy** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:37 pm

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:02 pm

TMurphy wrote:"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin

Wow! Geoge Carlin and Richard Pryor! Who knew!?

TMurphy · Post by **TMurphy** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:23 pm

windshieldbug wrote:
TMurphy wrote:"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin
Wow! Geoge Carlin and Richard Pryor! Who knew!?

My monitor just got sprayed with spring water....that was fantastic.

OldsRecording · Post by **OldsRecording** » Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:10 pm

"By the authority vested in me by His Majesty, Kaiser Wilhelm II, I now pronounce you man and wife! Procede with the execution!" The African Queen

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government." Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"My God... it's full of stars!" 2001, a Space Odessy

OldsRecording · Post by **OldsRecording** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:45 am

Greg wrote:If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Steven Wright

I like to put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

I had a pet fly once. I named him 'Buzz'. Funny thing is, he named me the same thing.
Steven Wright

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 10:43 pm

Greg wrote:I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Field

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
W.C. Fields

[/quote]

Also: Anyone who hates dogs and children can't be all bad. W C. Fields

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 11:35 pm

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
Groucho Marx

TMurphy · Post by **TMurphy** » Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:45 am

"I like an escalator, because an escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs. You'd never see an 'Escalator Out of Order' sign. It would say, 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the Convenience.'"
-Mitch Hedberg

"I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn literal!"
-Mitch Hedberg

"I haven't slept for ten days, because, that would be too long."
-Mitch Hedberg