Friday's Funny (but on a Monday) - THE TNFJ Joke Repository

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ken k
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Post by ken k »

Brassdad wrote:All hail ken k and his mythical story telling talents
I am afraid I can not take credit for writing it. I do not know the author, I simply cut and pasted it.

It does seem like there are too many dead-beats in that bar, however. I don't know though it is hard to measure them all......

After all this is a purely theoretical situation......
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Tubaryan12
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Post by Tubaryan12 »

Marzan BBb
John Packer JP-274 euphonium
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TubaRay
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Post by TubaRay »

Funny stuff, Ryan!
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

What would a musician do if he won a million dollars?

Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.
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SplatterTone
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Post by SplatterTone »

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment Community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma
complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes
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Kevin Hendrick
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Post by Kevin Hendrick »

SplatterTone wrote:The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma
complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
D'ough! :oops:
SplatterTone wrote:Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
... and don't forget cousin Dill! :P
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." -- Pogo (via Walt Kelly)
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

Why is a viola solo like a bomb?

By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

Well, often bombs sound better, and even terrorists have sympathizers...
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Brassdad
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Post by Brassdad »

windshieldbug wrote:Well, often bombs sound better, and even terrorists have sympathizers...
owwww, owwww, OWWWWWWW!
Last edited by Brassdad on Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
New Breed, Old Breed! It doesn't matter so long as it's the Marine Breed!
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Brassdad
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Post by Brassdad »

Did ya hear the one about women and children first?
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

Why did the violist marry the accordion player?

Upward mobility
TubaRay
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Post by TubaRay »

Bill, I don't believe the Hillary joke is political at all. It is simply reality.
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SplatterTone
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Post by SplatterTone »

Let's be thankful that the political correctness and sensitivity police in the USA have kept this kind of advertising trash off our TV sets:

http://t-recs.net/mpegs/movie/cat.mpeg

http://t-recs.net/mpegs/movie/bird.mpeg

Yeah, you remember 'em now, don't you?
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SplatterTone
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Post by SplatterTone »

A Player's Guide for Keeping Conductors in Line

http://www.campoly.com/valvejob/conductor.html
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SplatterTone
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Post by SplatterTone »

OK, that's it!
THESE RIOTS HAVE GONE TOO FAR!!
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

SplatterTone wrote:OK, that's it!
THESE RIOTS HAVE GONE TOO FAR!!
If they were really serious, they would have brought some oxygen with them so they could have burned it, too...
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windshieldbug
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Post by windshieldbug »

Doc, for a guy from Texas, you're pretty good with that nort midwestern humor... :lol:
tubatooter1940
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Post by tubatooter1940 »

A man came home from work and called out to his wife,"Honey,bring me a beer before it starts." Puzzled,she brought him a beer. Not long afterward he called her again."Honey bring me another beer.It's going to start any minute."She frowned and brought him another beer.
Once again he called,"Honey would you bring me one more beer before it starts?"She glared at him and shouted,"Who do you think you are-waltzing in here without even saying hello,planting your big fat booty on that couch and yelling for beer.Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash your clothes all day?
He said,"Oh crap,it's started."
tubeast
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concerning tree huggers...

Post by tubeast »

A man went jogging in the woods, when he passes somebody hugging a tree. He runs closer and asks what the guy was doing.
"I´m hugging a tree to get my self synchronized with nature. It´s great. You wanna give it a try ?"
The jogger goes to the other side of the tree and hugs it, when suddenly the tree hugger closes handcuffs around the jogger´s wrists, robs him and leaves him naked at the tree.

After several hours, another man walks by and stops as the jogger calls for help. Still in handcuffs, the jogger tells his story.
Reaching for the zipper of his pants, the walker says: "Well, that just ain´t your day today."
Hans
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tubeast
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Post by tubeast »

A farmer goes to a hardware store and asks for nails.
Salesman: "How long do you need them ?"
Farmer: "Gee, I didn´t know they could be borrowed..."
Hans
Melton 46 S
1903 or earlier GLIER Helicon, customized Hermuth MP
2009 WILLSON 6400 RZ5, customized GEWA 52 + Wessex "Chief"
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