Joe Baker for District Attorney

tofu · Post by **tofu** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 1:29 pm

When he wins he can nonsuit all those tickets he's going to collect now that he has the finished engine in the Mustang!

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:01 pm

Joe Baker wrote: Marty, I owe you one for NOT making it a poll. I'm not sure my ego could take the results!!
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Joe Baker, who couldn't get elected assistant deputy dogcatcher!

Well, don't blame me; I voted for ya

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 2:20 pm

Now, see, THIS is the way to run an election!! And I thought I'd be depressed about the voting!

I'll be glad to shake hands and kiss babes, too -- whazzat -- are you sure? Okay... -- um, my political consultant has just informed me that it is baBIEs that I'm supposed to kiss, not babes. Well, I guess I can do that too; though I don't really understand why. Babies can't vote, can they?

Oh, and I don't hot-rod the 'stang, FWIW.
Well... not much....

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Joe Baker, who is mis-underestimated.

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 4:27 pm

I DO need some help with campaign promises and slogans. Here's what I've got so far:

If I'm elected, I will help to conserve fuel by calling for the rebuilding of all roads, such that they ALWAYS go from higher to lower elevation, thus utilizing gravity, not gasoline, to propel the cars. Rick Denney has assured me that this can be easily accomplished.

I have a slogan to go with this promise:
"Vote for Joe Baker, and before you know it, everything will be going downhill fast!"

Anyone have any other helpful ideas?
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Joe Baker, who would explain how a District Attorney gets involved in road planning, but it's technical, and beyond the understanding of anyone who is not a professional politician.

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:09 pm

Joe Baker wrote:Rick Denney has assured me that this can be easily accomplished.

You'll get my consulting bill in the morning.

Rick "who doesn't work for free" Denney

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:19 pm

Rick, once I'm spending the public dime, you'll be ROLLIN' in dough!!
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Joe Baker, who observes that this is, simply, what politicians DO for their friends.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 6:24 pm

A chicken in every 6/4 bell.

No obvious sex scandals.

"Go With The Flow" Joe.

"That's no gentleman, that's my attorney"

"He's right behind you, Mr. Vice President"

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:30 pm

bloke wrote:' depends on just how much "compassionate" and just how much "conservative".

Is that like a Capacitive Conservate?

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:37 pm

* Political content removed; forgot where I was for a moment.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:23 pm

Say it ain't so!

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 5:32 pm

windshieldbug wrote:

Say it ain't so!

"Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated!" -- Mark Twain
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Joe Baker, who thinks it slightly ironic that this is a quote from a guy who really is dead...

Chuck(G) · Post by **Chuck(G)** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 7:25 pm

schlepporello wrote: Oh great.
There's the asparagus again, that I saw so much of in Washington state.

It's on sale at Albertson's--$1.69/lb. After you made your initial comment, I discovered that what you said was pretty much true. No matter what time of year, I could always buy fresh asparagus at the supermarket. Since they can't store it very long, unlike potatoes, onions and apples, I wonder where they get it?

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 9:40 pm

Chuck(G) · Post by **Chuck(G)** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 11:12 pm

LoyalTubist · Post by **LoyalTubist** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 6:02 am

I didn't know I had your English soccer card!

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:17 am

Hey, at least I photographed my own Joe Baker picture!

Marty "Who now thinks there are way too many Joe Bakers on the Web" Neilan

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:29 am

Marty, sorry I hijacked your thread, but
See what you started!

(and looking at the poll, lets hear it for affirmative action!)

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:47 am

MartyNeilan wrote:... too many Joe Bakers on the Web...

Hey, I resemble that!

Actually, I believe there have been a couple of pro tuba players named Joe Baker, too. I've had several people at various times write to me and ask me if I was the Joe Baker that used to play in this army band or that Broadway show. Then there's Joe Don Baker, who played Buford Pusser in the original "Walking Tall" movies. My middle initial is 'D', so when I wrote a check at the grocery store the clerk (having paid no attention to me at all until then) would suddenly look up with great excitement -- followed by inevitable disappointment!

Me? I'm just a simple man, doin' a simple job. A down-to-earth guy who likes to unwind at the end of the day with a 12-oz can o' liquid therapy. Sure, I can divide by zero; but how often does that really come in handy? And, yeah, they wanted me to play James Bond in the next movie; but I just don't have time, between ghost-writing books for Tom Clancy and building a practical fusion reactor out of old vacuum cleaner parts and a couple of bleach bottles. Shoot, I hardly have time to take calls from heads of state anymore, and I told Roger Clemons he's going to have to get someone ELSE to help him with his pitching game next year. I just don't need the hassle any more. Like I said, I'm just a simple guy.

... or am I....

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Joe Baker, who, if nominated will not run, and if elected will not serve!

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:47 am

windshieldbug wrote:Marty, sorry I hijacked your thread, but
See what you started!

No apologies necessary, just glad you still have the duck!

I saw these huge signs on the way back from taking my son to school in Seymour TN (yes I actually pay to send him to the same school that fired me after I resigned) and I knew I just had to snap a pic and post it!
Vote for Joe!
Vote early and vote often!