A Wedding

[LoyalTubist]

Last month, while I was on my two month TubeNet hiatus, one of my private English students (a young lady, age 26) got married to an American of Vietnamese ancestry (a gentleman, a couple of years older) from Corona, California.

I went alone. I would have gone with my wife but, as most of you know she is disabled and cannot walk. There is no Vietnamese with Disabilities Act, so she stayed home. This made the wedding a little more interesting.

Firstly, weddings in Vietnam are not ceremonies. They are banquets with a floor show put on by professional dancers and the nuptial couple. There is no exchanging of vows. That was done in a courthouse several days before. The couple has already had their first night together as man and wife (maybe even ten nights together).

When entering the banquet hall, there is a box. You are expected to pay for dinner. Crashers are expected. They always prepare more than enough food. The price is set at about 300,000 dong per person, or about twenty bucks.

However, when seeing that I was American (the only Caucasian in attendance) they didn't let me pay. Instead of asking, "Groom or Bride?" when finding a place to sit, the question is "Smoking or non-smoking?"

Most of the non-smoking tables were at the front of the hall. I got to sit with other Americans, called Viet Kieu, meaning Vietnamese who live overseas. Vietnamese people never give up their Vietnamese citizenship, even if the U.S. government cancels it due to becoming American citizens. However, most of the people at this table hadn't been in Saigon since the end of the Vietnam War. They weren't Vietnamese anymore. They were Americans.

When the ceremony started, some dancers danced in the middle aisle. The the couple came and drank some kind of red punch (not pink champagne... it was too red!) A Buddhist priest held their hands. Then their parents came up and smiled. Then it was over. Shortest wedding I ever saw. Three minutes.

The banquet, however, was much longer. There wasn't a lot of toasting. I spent my time asking how life had changed in the Riverside area over the last year. The family was excited to hear that I was born in Riverside and grew up in Colton, near San Bernardino.

When the movie, "Wedding Crashers," was shown here, no one understood that the characters portrayed by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson weren't just after women, but free food as well. I used to do that when I was young and carefree (to get food, not girls). All I needed was a suit and a way to get to church.

Talk about cultural differences...