First off, I want to thank everyone who commented here and to those who sent PMs. They meant a lot to me over these few days (seems like a lot longer).
Pat and I had discussed our final resting place off and on for years, okay since our wedding – or shortly thereafter. Because of my USMC service we never had a home or home town. Pat’s family had divided into a couple of areas of Ohio. (Marysville and Portsmouth) My family was in Logan Ohio and near Dayton. We had discussed going to Logan as it was fairly well centered between the other three locations. But then (after 25 years, I retired and moved to the eastern suburbs of Cincinnati. While she was in the hospital, I tried to ensure we discussed what we finally wanted done, but we didn’t really. It wasn’t until after she came home that she asked her sister (her closest friend) if she would mind her being buried in Logan. Pat was assured that she wouldn’t mind at all. My reason for not getting plots here in Milford was based upon my growing up and moving every few years, and then doing it again as an adult.
Now, my goal has been to put down roots so that the kids would have a place to call ours and have “grandma & grandpa’s” house for holidays and visits later. But I am afraid that with this new situation I might not be able to do it on my own and might have to move closer to family. If that were to happen, I wouldn’t want Pat here alone.
On Tuesday, my father was able to put me in contact with a funeral director in Logan. He likes him the best, and as my father deals with all the funeral homes for military funeral functions (he’s the commander of the local American Legion) I trusted his judgment. The gentleman did Pat right. He was able to get me the casket I wanted (heavy steel, pink velvet lining, slight lavender color exterior, nothing gaudy), and a very nice vault (galvanized – heavy gauge). What’s more he was able to get everything in place, finished, and coordinated with the cemetery for the funeral to be on Thursday 12 June. This allowed us to not compete with one of her nieces’ College Graduation.
Dad opened the house at 9 am for visitors. Pat did not want an open casket , so we thought that if we gathered somewhere other than the funeral home, any young kids to play as opposed to getting bored and into trouble. Additionally, we figured that there would be more of an enjoyable/celebratory meeting of family and friends in a more hospitable location. I had brought up about 10 photo albums and plenty of framed photos of Pat, I, and the kids from over the years. Everyone mixed and mingled. The stories of Pat were up lifting and every one learned something about her from some one else that they didn’t know before. Come 1 pm we were at the cemetery for the funeral.
My father’s brother Mervin gave me his two plots. He has moved to the northern part of Ohio with no intention of returning. The plots are less than 30 feet from where my paternal grandparents and infant brother are now, and where my parents will be when they pass on. This was a great blessing to me personally.
The pastor we got to perform the service was the gentleman who actually had married us back in 1982. I don’t think we had seen him half a dozen times in all those years, but when I got in contact with him he was quick to agree. Back before he married us, he had counseled us that none of the people he married were allowed to divorce. “His marriages were for life only!”
The ceremony was less than 15 minutes once it got started. It was a bright sunny day (if a bit humid). I was very proud of my son who requested to be at my wife’s right hand as a pallbearer. I never put it to him, as I didn’t want to impose…he brought it up two days before the funeral. There was nearly a stampede of male family and friends vying to carry her to her final resting place. My father ensured order prevailed and that Mike got his location.
Afterward we got back together and my parents house. Dad called for everyone’s attention. He announced how he had lost so much more than a daughter-in-law. He then went on to tell everyone that his house was Pat’s house and that anyone who went to visit her was to stop by the house as well (it is less than ¾ mile from his driveway to the entrance of the graveyard). He said that if anyone did otherwise, if he didn’t get them that Pat would.
Considering the nature of what had brought us together, the person who brought us together did so with a bittersweet joy that I wish everyone who reads this could (or does) know.
Am posting a couple of photos from this time.
Thanks for putting up with me -- and supporting me -- at this time
Pat letting the ICU Doc know her thoughts about his diagnosis...
The hillbillies come to ICU... (at one point there were 29 people and a dog in the room)
Pat comes home...
At the funeral - (left to right) Mike, Rachel, Brassdad (Paul), Grandma Thrush (my mother's mom)
Bob Asbury - completes the circle of our marriage...
Temp marker...
Me and the kids, breaking the tension...
Very dashing.
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