ArnoldGottlieb wrote:
While this may be one of the norms, it's certainly not the rule. I've lived in 2 suburbs of munich that were as nice as Connecticut where I could walk 5-10mins, get on the train and be at work in less than 20 mins. I have friends in Hannover, Hamburg, and Dusseldorf with the same kind of travel to the suburbs time that I had. If, by enjoying close quarters with their neighbors people are forced to be more polite, maybe there's a lesson for us to learn.
Peace.
ASG
You prove my point. The people in those cities are trained thorugh the generations to tolerate close quarters. That includes close quarters on transit services, and living by the clock that transit imposes. I rode transit for a year in San Antonio because of lack of provided parking (and the desire not to pay for commercial parking). My bosses kept complaining to me and holding me responsible for my unwillingness to work late or to attend council or neighborhood meetings without considerable advance notice. But my schedule was ruled by transit. Eventually, they found parking for me.
As to politeness, the least polite people I have ever known are city people who live in close quarters. I'm not saying their brusque manner isn't appropriate to their living conditions, but it's not polite by any definition I've ever known. The only exception to that was Tokyo where people were unfailingly polite, but that may have been because I was a foreigner.
One does not look to London, Paris, Rome, Berlin, or New York, etc., as paragons of politeness.
It's a cultural thing with VERY deep roots. The Hopi and Navajo tribes of northeastern Arizona have lived in proximity to each other for about 500 years. The Hopis are town dwellers, and live in pueblos where living is in very close quarters indeed. The Navajo are nomadic, and choose their living sites on the basis of taking advantage of the weather, protecting themselves (including from evil spirits), and not being too close to their neighbors. You can put Navajos in cities, but it is usually a recipe for cultural disaster. Put me in a city (not suburbs, but a real city) and I'm grossly uncomfortable. And in places where suburbanites expect their neighbors to measure up to particular standards of behavior (whatever those happen to be), I'm also uncomfortable. Years of experience living in those places never brought comfort. Many are less flexible than I am, and being forced to live where they feel claustrophobic would bring resentment and, likely, cultural disaster.
Remember that America is an immigrant country, where the population is (or was) made of people willing to take big risks to achieve some degree of independence from their previous situation. The parts of the U.S. most like Europe are the parts where the population is most distantly descended from their pioneer ancestors.
Rick "grateful for the ability to live in some seclusion" Denney