I'm not fitting in at my college

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TexTuba
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Post by TexTuba »

Arkietuba wrote:..but, I've been told by Brain Bowman that I'm a virtuoso, Hank Feldman basically said the same thing...keep in mind that Dr. Young has only been here a few years and he's just now getting tuba music majors, I was the first one (there was one other, but he never practiced and dropped out a little later). Now we have about 6 tuba music majors, me and this guy are the two best here.
So what you're saying is that you're good? Just a guess... :P :lol:

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Post by TubaRay »

TexTuba wrote:
Arkietuba wrote:..but, I've been told by Brain Bowman that I'm a virtuoso, Hank Feldman basically said the same thing...keep in mind that Dr. Young has only been here a few years and he's just now getting tuba music majors, I was the first one (there was one other, but he never practiced and dropped out a little later). Now we have about 6 tuba music majors, me and this guy are the two best here.
So what you're saying is that you're good? Just a guess... :P :lol:
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I believe you've got it right, Ralph. No brag, just fact! IF you're good, you're good.

On the actual topic...I am a bit surprised at the racial tone of some of the posts. While the original poster may be experiencing what some would perceive to be racism(and this is certainly possible), I believe the most likely culprit is just figuring out how to cope with the situation. For many, and this included myself, college is about a very major change in the environment. There is a new geographic location, new people, new all sorts of things. It took me a while to adapt to all that. Often, everyone else seems to be coping better than yourself. Don't be fooled. Many people are just trying to figure it all out. I believe the poster needs to just hang in there. After a while the people who are worth having as friends will come around.
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Post by Arkietuba »

Okay, I wasn't trying to make it sound like I was bragging but, I guess I am...yeah, I'm good. And this guy reminds me of myself...he's good too. Dr. Young is an excellent instructor. This guy is a good guy and there's no reason for him not to fit in...UCA has people from all walks of life (we have about 12,000 students).
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Post by Rick Denney »

TubaRay wrote:On the actual topic...I am a bit surprised at the racial tone of some of the posts. While the original poster may be experiencing what some would perceive to be racism(and this is certainly possible), I believe the most likely culprit is just figuring out how to cope with the situation. For many, and this included myself, college is about a very major change in the environment. There is a new geographic location, new people, new all sorts of things. It took me a while to adapt to all that. Often, everyone else seems to be coping better than yourself. Don't be fooled. Many people are just trying to figure it all out. I believe the poster needs to just hang in there. After a while the people who are worth having as friends will come around.
Listen to Ray, he is wise beyond his years (which is saying something given his advanced age).

I never felt like I fit in in college. There were small groups who tolerated me, and I did have some friends. But I always felt separated. One reason was that I did not share values with many of my schoolmates. On the other hand, I didn't consistently live up to the values I expected of them, and so they saw me as being hypocritical, in addition to antisocial. They were right, but so was I. I'm glad that I didn't set aside my values in order to "fit in", because it would have meant disaster for me. My lapses could easily have become habitual patterns instead of lapses but for those tough underlying values.

It had absolutely nothing to do with skin color, of course.

There are plenty of people of all points of view who allow race to figure strongly in their view of other people. Some assume that all rude behavior is racially motivated and don't check to see if the bullies are rude to everyone (except those in their clique). Some indeed think racially and ethnically, but I suspect those people are well-distributed throughout all the races and ethnic groups. If you think it's a matter of race, then it will be, because others will sense your own perceptions.

You mentioned that others expect you to conform to their patterns, or at least that you perceive that expectation. The only thing you can do is to be yourself, and constantly evaluate your own behavior against your standard of behavior. What they do is their deal. But there is a possibility that I'll mention, and you can take it or leave it depending on what rings true: Maybe you are the one whose values don't measure up. Only you can make that determination.

First, make sure you establish a standard of excellence for yourself--as a person. Then, find and hang around those who share that standard of excellence, and I'll bet you'll have no trouble making friends.

Rick "whose few close friends have turned out to be many" Denney
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Post by Eupher6 »

Sage observations from Rick.
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Post by iiipopes »

Indeed. Yet but another example why Rick is the Resident Genius.
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Post by Eupher6 »

iiipopes wrote:Indeed. Yet but another example why Rick is the Resident Genius.
I'll buy that. :) We've exchanged a pixel or two at TubaEuph back in the day.
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Post by windshieldbug »

Okay, I wasn't trying to make it sound like I was bragging but, I guess I am...yeah, I'm good
OK, WHO LET THE TRUMPET PLAYER IN HERE!?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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Post by djwesp »

windshieldbug wrote:
Okay, I wasn't trying to make it sound like I was bragging but, I guess I am...yeah, I'm good
OK, WHO LET THE TRUMPET PLAYER IN HERE!?

He's not a trumpet player... he's a really nice guy, it just came out the wrong way both times he said it.


He's a solid player (i've only heard him twice)... and he's pretty shy, so I doubt he's bragging too much. He's one of the best Arkansas has, virtuoso--- eh, haven't heard enough of him to agree or disagree with him... but he's not a snob.


He's an upper level musician and a much better person. Too bad we didn't end up together at some point, would have made for some nice duets, practice sessions, critiques.


Maybe you'll meet him at an ITEA event and he'll change your mind.


He could hold his own last year (as a sophomore, i think) while playing Three Furies and pieces about that level--- pretty well. I'm sure he's only gotten better, and has started to get those butterflies that plagued him, out of his stomach.



As for the comments about Phi Mu Alpha only being an organization. I can promise you, at UCA, it is very, VERY fraternal. Those guys promote music, act as brothers in any social fraternity would, and contribute a lot to the atmosphere at UCA (even if other things do not).
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Post by circusboy »

I'm truly sorry to have offended my open-minded/-hearted colleagues in the red states.

Our original poster stated quite clearly, to my mind, that race may be a factor in his current situation. It was the first thing he mentioned. I don't think that ignoring his own beliefs on the matter is the way to go in responding to his predicament.

Yes there are racist people in all parts of our fair country--sad, but true.

I've lived in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Maryland, the District of Columbia, New York, Missouri, and California. I've spent significant time in Georgia, Florida and Massachusetts as well. Taken person-by-person, you'll find all kinds in all places. However, I have experienced a cultural tolerance for racism in the South and Midwest that I have not witnessed in the West nor Northeast. Confederate flags--and don't deny what they symbolize--seem much more acceptable to display in those places.

All I was thinking was that if this young man was a student at UCLA, the Berklee College of Music, Stanford, or SUNY New Paltz, I sincerely doubt that his race would have been the first thing he mentioned to explain his situation.

I wish him only the best--and sincerely hope that race is not a factor.
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Post by windshieldbug »

bloke wrote:Who is Brain Bowman...??
Isn't he that guy in SpinalTap??

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Post by Arkietuba »

djwesp wrote: He's not a trumpet player... he's a really nice guy, it just came out the wrong way both times he said it.

He's a solid player (i've only heard him twice)... and he's pretty shy, so I doubt he's bragging too much. He's one of the best Arkansas has, virtuoso--- eh, haven't heard enough of him to agree or disagree with him... but he's not a snob.

He's an upper level musician and a much better person. Too bad we didn't end up together at some point, would have made for some nice duets, practice sessions, critiques.

Maybe you'll meet him at an ITEA event and he'll change your mind.

He could hold his own last year (as a sophomore, i think) while playing Three Furies and pieces about that level--- pretty well. I'm sure he's only gotten better, and has started to get those butterflies that plagued him, out of his stomach.

As for the comments about Phi Mu Alpha only being an organization. I can promise you, at UCA, it is very, VERY fraternal. Those guys promote music, act as brothers in any social fraternity would, and contribute a lot to the atmosphere at UCA (even if other things do not).
Thanks, yeah that time you heard me play the Three Furies was definately NOT my best performance...I wasn't trying to sound like a trumpet player...I was trying to be funny but it's hard to get that across in only words.
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Post by circusboy »

Doc, I hear you. Thanks for the well-reasoned reply.

And you're right about my use of the short-cut "red states." I didn't mean to be political there, and I've seen maps of the last election done county-by-county, rather than state by state; most states look pretty purple. At the same time, it does--crudely--define a part of our cultural geography

With all due respect--and I think plenty is due in your case--I'm still gonna have to disagree with you on the stars-and-bars. While I understand that it can mean different (often positive) things to different people, I think most people are aware of a political statement they're making when they stick one on their car or house. That was certainly the case when I lived in the capital of the Confederacy.

Let me put it another way: The swastika is a sacred symbol in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, but I think the Nazis co-opted it to a point where NO ONE could walk around with one on their t-shirt and expect anyone to buy it as a reflection of their Eastern spirituality.

It's why, when I'm having a happy, cheerful day, I don't walk around telling everyone "I'm gay!"--because people wouldn't understand my archaic use of this politically co-opted word.
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Post by djwesp »

Arkietuba wrote:
Thanks, yeah that time you heard me play the Three Furies was definately NOT my best performance...

That's okay Doctor Young, you, and me were the only ones that knew the difference.
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Post by Rick Denney »

circusboy wrote:I've lived in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Virginia, Maryland, the District of Columbia, New York, Missouri, and California. I've spent significant time in Georgia, Florida and Massachusetts as well. Taken person-by-person, you'll find all kinds in all places. However, I have experienced a cultural tolerance for racism in the South and Midwest that I have not witnessed in the West nor Northeast. Confederate flags--and don't deny what they symbolize--seem much more acceptable to display in those places.
The worst displays of racism I have ever seen have been in the Northeast, by far.

What you perceive as cultural tolerance for racisim might be described differently by someone with another point of view. It might be that there is so much cultural mixing of the races in the South (where minority populations are larger and more integrated), that southerners have a more mature understanding of the true cultural differences between racial and ethnic groups. In the north, however, there is much less cultural mixing. I've never seen segregation in the South like I've seen in Chicago, Detroit, Philadelphia, DC, Baltimore, and Boston, where I've done enough work to be able to make personal observations. But the intelligentsia in those cities give eloquent lip service to the symbolism of integration, and they are part of the power elite who controls a lot of the public conversation in the U.S. In the South, there is less of this pretense, and frankly the races are much closer by my observation.

I've seen Klan activities in the south, but relatively few skinheads and neo-Nazis compared to other parts of the country. How you perceive the difference depends on your gut-level reaction to, say, Klan visibility versus neo-Nazi visibility.

And I think many people purposely give meaning to the appearance of the Confederate battle flag that corresponds to their particular point of view. For southerners, it is a means of establishing their own identity separate from northerners, who they generally distrust. It's a "thumb in your eye", not to black people (and certainly not to black individuals) but rather to what they see as the northeastern power elite who are not sensitive to their needs or perspective. Certainly, some do it just to annoy the black community, but then they don't have the corner on that market. Mostly, they do it to annoy the power elite whom they mistrust.

For a black person to automatically assume that someone waving the Confederate flag is specifically anti-black is no different than a white person automatically assuming that a person wearing a Malcolm X T-shirt is specifically anti-white. I once read a T-shirt on the son of a colleague that said "Whatever it takes" under a silhouette of Malcolm X. How is that not to be interpreted as a challenge by any white person? Yet such displays usually attract no comment.

Of course, the boy wearing the shirt had nothing against me or any of his other white acquaintances and friends. At the worst, he was making a statement against what he perceived as the white power elite. Mostly, though, I think he was expressing himself culturally, which is a fancy way of saying that in his circle of close friends a shirt like that is cool. He probably perceives grimaces from white people who read his shirt as racial prejudice, but I don't think that's quite fair for him to do so. That's what I meant by my statement that when a person perceives a racial component to their relationships, it may be real, but it may be real because people are reacting to the person's projection of his own perceptions and issues. Both are possible, so when we perceive prejudice, we have to be quite analytical and honest with ourselves to interpret things properly.

There is certainly far more genuine politeness between the races in the south than in most parts of the north, by my direct observation. And if I was black, I'd far rather live in Dallas or Atlanta than in Boston or Philadelphia, particularly if I'm in a middle class situation like the families of most college kids.

But I'm not sure Arkansas is the best example of the South in any case. People treat the South as being monolithic, and that is, of course, just as false as treating the black community as being monolithic.

Rick "calling it like he sees it" Denney
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Post by ZNC Dandy »

I thought the "eastern swastika" was reversed from the symbol used by the Third Reich? I though the symbol they used came from the SS Lightning bolt, because if you cross that symbol it becomes the swastika. May be that way...or the other way around, not sure. Sorry, may be a little off topic... I feel like I need a bath right about now for knowing that... :roll:

There is such a wealth of good life advice in this thread...it has provided some guidance for me, and I didn't even know it. thanks guys.
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Post by greatk82 »

My interest was also peeked and I came across this article:


http://www.intelinet.org/swastika/swastika_intro.htm
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Post by MartyNeilan »

When I was in Jordan, I saw the archeological excavation site of an early Christian church. The mosaic floor tiles had swastica patterns in them.
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Post by tubatooter1940 »

I wonder why so many these days are so obsessed with race hatred.
Your skin color is beyond your own control so why not concentrate on things you have the power to change.
If racism is a problem, there are legal tools available to combat it. So many assume that this is happening when it may not be the case.
I live and work in the deep South. I hired a black sax player for my bar band and many people predicted trouble to come. Booking was never a problem and he did a great job for me. We were well recieved every where we played and we're still friends after all these years.
I slugged up as the only trumpeter and white face in a nine piece black soul band in Mobile, Alabama. I never had a moments trouble because I wasn't looking for it. I was well treated and well paid because I worked my butt off and had a great good time on stage.
My experience tells me that the perception of racism is sometimes skewed by expectations.
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Post by Michael Woods »

Is it me or are this dudes posts starting to get a little weird?

Not to mention the collection of horns.


Is this a joke, seriously?
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