One Liners

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:50 pm

The early bird gathers no moss.

Dennis K. · Post by **Dennis K.** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 1:02 pm

Yeah, but you should've seen the size of that pumpkin!

ken k · Post by **ken k** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 10:43 pm

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like bananas.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:19 pm

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:08 pm

"I bought a carton of powdered water but I didn't know what to add."

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:23 pm

She was only the stableman's daughter, but all the horsemen knew 'er.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:24 pm

She was only the used furniture salesman's daugher, but she wouldn't allow much on the couch.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:25 pm

Did you hear about the littler person who walked into a bar and kissed everyone in the joint?

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:26 pm

When the taxi driver swerved to avoid a kid, he almost fell off the couch.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:29 pm

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:37 pm

If the square root of 64 is eight, then the square root of 69 is ate somethin'.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:38 pm

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary: those who do and those who don't.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:34 pm

"Can you name a word that has all six vowels alphabetically?" she asked facetiously.

Brucom · Post by **Brucom** » Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:35 pm

In a long line at McDonald's, "Why do they call it fast food?"

ken k · Post by **ken k** » Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:15 pm

Two tuba players walked past a bar.......

ken "well it could happen...."k

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sat Nov 11, 2006 10:17 pm

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --General Norman Schwartzkopf

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:52 pm

Just thought of a new one:
"I used to work for a furniture company, but I got fired for dropping my drawers."

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:32 pm

A panhandler walked up to a jewish mother and said to her, "Lady, I haven't eaten for two days."
She replied, "Force yourself."

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 10:34 pm

A padhandler walked up to a jewish mother and said, "Lady, I haven't had a bite for two days."
She bit him.

iiipopes · Post by **iiipopes** » Sun Nov 19, 2006 3:28 pm

What are the last words of a redneck?
"Hey, y'all -- watch this!"

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