The Tubenet aptitude test...

djwesp · Post by **djwesp** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:19 pm

You are in charge of screening prospective Tubenetters. In an attempt to eradicate the board of the flamers, trolls, high school hot shots, and general idiots what would you ask to weed them out?

We've all seen them. Some of us used to be them. Some of us are in transition (like me).

They try on the patience of many of the older guys on here. Let's hear theoretical questions that would fail them.

Chuck(G) · Post by **Chuck(G)** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 8:35 pm

djwesp wrote:They try on the patience of many of the older guys on here. Let's hear theoretical questions that would fail them.

Some of the older guys try the patience of the older guys around here.

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:27 pm

It's sorta like an audition. The guy coming in may absolutely nail the excerpts behind the screen, but then you still let them play with the trombones to find out if the obnoxious bass trombonist you already have will tolerate the new guy. And then you put them on probation to see if they can avoid flatulance during the pianissimos and not walk out on stage with their fly unzipped. After six months or so, you know.

Buf if you ask the question, "Will you walk out on stage with your fly unzipped?" the answer you get has a small chance of being accurate if the person is inclined to have that problem. Incompetent people are not sufficiently competent to recognize their own incompetence.

Rick "thinking everyone will claim a thick skin and a willingness to think even if they subsequently don't demonstrate same" Denney

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 11:28 pm

Anyone who doesn't make an response to this thread (well-reasoned or not).

big_blue_tubist · Post by **big_blue_tubist** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:46 am

Here's one...

"Do you have a world class sound?"

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:26 pm

bloke wrote:Would this get me into the POO-keepsie Symphony?

http://www.fartgreetings.com/wav/longfart.wav

Impressive! Goes all the way from the fundamental to the double-high-"A".

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:41 am

SOTStuba wrote:According to my band director I do have a world class sound...wonder what I should do now?

Hope the class doesn't graduate...

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 12:50 pm

Scooby Tuba wrote:"The Tubenet aptitude test"...
would be akin to "government intelligence", wouldn't it?

Why do you park your car on a driveway, but drive your car on a parkway?

chipster55 · Post by **chipster55** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:13 pm

Chuck(G) wrote: Some of the older guys try the patience of the older guys around here.

I'm an old fart - I'll try not to get on anyone's nerves -- HERE'S YOUR SIGN

lgb&dtuba · Post by **lgb&dtuba** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:13 pm

Why a duck?

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 1:39 pm

lgb&dtuba wrote:Why a duck?

Has to do with a thread I started that was long-running and wise-a@@. It started with my pointing out an eBay saxophone ad that featured a picture of a duck. The duck became a kind of food picture... took on a life of it's own.

Soon you could even buy duck buttons inspired from that original image...

So the answer is, there is no why. Only what.

lgb&dtuba · Post by **lgb&dtuba** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 2:02 pm

windshieldbug wrote:
So the answer is, there is no why. Only What.

DUCK! swhoosh.

Then why a-no chicken?

Jim 'I'm a stranger here myself.' Wagner

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:20 pm

lgb&dtuba wrote:
windshieldbug wrote: So the answer is, there is no why. Only What.
DUCK! swhoosh.

Wow. Hoisted by my own canard!

Chuck(G) · Post by **Chuck(G)** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:23 am

What's the difference between a duck?

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 6:42 am

windshieldbug wrote:
lgb&dtuba wrote:
windshieldbug wrote: So the answer is, there is no why. Only What.
DUCK! swhoosh.
Wow. Hoisted by my own canard!

That's what we call a sanity claus.
You can no fool me - I don't believe in Sanity Clause!

lgb&dtuba · Post by **lgb&dtuba** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:54 am

Chuck(G) wrote:What's the difference between a duck?

I'd answer, but I don't have a leg to stand on.

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 7:56 am

Chuck(G) wrote:What's the difference between a duck?

Chuck(G) must know the answer but I'll bite.
'Cause web feet don't go no fast?

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed Feb 21, 2007 9:37 am

bloke wrote:DUCK FOR PRESIDENT !!!

Remember- No Politics!

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 7:06 pm

Doc wrote:Ever had duck sausage? No...? Well duck down here...

I'd say that stands a good chance of getting one goosed -- and probably stuck with the Bill, too!

tubaguy9 · Post by **tubaguy9** » Thu Feb 22, 2007 9:52 pm

bloke wrote:DUCK FOR PRESIDENT !!!

Well...I've been seeing these stupid "Spoiled Yappy Dog for President" commercials, along with "Bag of Leaves for President"...Even since the election has ended. The end of the commercials say "If you're not voting, who are you electing?"
Why do they put this on a high school news program?

DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Tubenet aptitude test...

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