Favorite Quotes

[scouterbill]

This is from 'A River Runs Through It" by Norman Maclaen. I have read this book more times than any other I own.

"The body and spirit suffer no more sudden visitation than that of losing a big fish, since, after all, there must be some slight transition between life and death. But, with a big fish, one moment the world is nuclear and the next it has disappeared. That's all. It has gone. The fish has gone and you are extinct, except for four and a half ounces of stick to which is tied some line and a semitransparent thread of catgut to which is tied a little curved piece of Swedish steel to which is tied a part of a feather from a chicken's neck. . . .
Poets talk about "spots of time," but it is really fishermen who experience eternity compressed into a moment. No one can tell what a spot of time is until suddenly the whole world is a fish and the fish is gone. I shall remember that son of a bitch forever. "

This speaks to anyone who has lost "the big one"

[TubaRay]

...and also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
-Walter Sobchek

And I guess we no longer have jungles.

[TubaRay]

I have been asked(via PM) to explain my comment about there being no jungles. Just as is true for many expressions, we have now gone to the more PC terminology. It seems that we are living in the most "enlightened" times in all of history. We have finally figured everything out. Here are some examples:

oriental = Asian
jungle = rain forest
fireman = firefighter
teacher = educator
janitor = custodian
personnel department = human resources(or HR)
bum(or hobo) = homeless person
used car = preowned car
star player = superstar

This list could go on and on, probably longer than any of us would care to read. I fully realize that not all of the above list are PC names. Furthermore, I really don't mind the changing of the language. What bothers me are the sometimes obvious political agendas that are behind the changes.

Anyway, I was just joking in my above response on this thread, however the joke was based on a serious thought. I am not attempting to stir up a hornets nest or anything. I'm just trying to have a little fun with one of my pet peaves.

[windshieldbug]

Ray, I hope you realize that TubaMeisters are now TubaLeutes!

[TubaRay]

Ray, I hope you realize that TubaMeisters are now TubaLeutes!

LOL

[chipster55]

When I was in college, I worked at the Texas DPS (as a civilian)in Austin. My sgt. - one of my favorite people in the world (RIP) - used to tell us smart-assed college guys:

"Son, you do that again, there'll be a wholesale *** whippin' and you're gonna provide all the *** !"

[lgb&dtuba]

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It can't be done and it annoys the pig.

[lgb&dtuba]

...and also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
-Walter Sobchek

And I guess we no longer have jungles.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the propostition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

[TMurphy]

A friend of mine finally got his wife's great uncle to quit saying "zipper-haid". NOW you want him to say "Asian American"...!?! What if a Chinaman lives in Australia?

True enough....but, on the same token, what if that "Chinaman" is actually from Korea???

[windshieldbug]

Another great brain-%#@%...

[TMurphy]

What if a Chinaman lives in Australia?

Then he'd be Asian-Asian...

How so????

[windshieldbug]

Oh yeah, I keep forgetting thst Australia IS a continent... well, I thought it'd be a good joke... anyway, never mind!

[SplatterTone]

Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank!



The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.
N-C-C 1-7-0-1. No bloody A, B, C, or D.

[KevinMadden]

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
George Carlin

Gotta love this one:
Got into an argument with my Rice Krispies today...I distinctly heard them say "Snap, crackle, **** you."
George Carlin

This just in from the National Pancake Comittee, it reads "F*** Waffles"...
...This just in from the National Waffle Foundation: " French Toast Sucks"

[windshieldbug]

** This just in from the National Take a Waffle to Work Organization: "Pancakes Suck French Toast!" **

[windshieldbug]

This just in from the National Dinner Organization- breakfast sucks!! eat another dinner instead!!

Bob, you obviously go to bed too early to be a REAL tuba player

[LoyalTubist]

If you love something, let it go, set it free.
















If it comes back to you, it is yours forever.














If it never comes back to you,














HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT!!!

[TMurphy]

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin

[windshieldbug]

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin

Wow! Geoge Carlin and Richard Pryor! Who knew!?

[TMurphy]

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire."
-George Carlin

Wow! Geoge Carlin and Richard Pryor! Who knew!?

My monitor just got sprayed with spring water....that was fantastic.