A Commercial Rant

TexTuba · Post by **TexTuba** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:32 pm

So lately I've been noticing many automotive commercials that are just ignorant. One that just makes me laugh is a certain oil brand that says it can maintain peak horsepower 29% longer. What in the hell does that REALLY mean? What was the number that is 29% longer? Was it an hour? A second?! Another one is they have a bunch of trucks lined up and they see which one can get to the finish line first. The Tundra wins and they say it's because of horsepower and that's a load of manure. Anyone who knows ANYTHING about how power works knows that torque is the reason for quick acceleration and horsepower is the reason for speed. And don't even get me started on those ridiculous truck commercials that claim you can stop a plane because your brakes have slotted rotors. I tried explaining this to the lady. She looked at me like I was an idiot. Hell, I might be for getting bent about this!

Is there anyone else in tubaland that notices this?

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 5:57 pm

wchoc86 wrote:well, i hate trucks, all trucks, every truck, with a passion,

My advice to you is to never, ever, move to Texas. Now, being the civilized guy that I am, I would allow you into my home, even though I own a truck. I would do so solely because of your participation in TubeNet activities.

Tubaryan12 · Post by **Tubaryan12** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:57 pm

schlepporello wrote:
I like pullin' up next to little bitty cars.

I like pullin' up to big trucks at the gas station.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:17 pm

Tubaryan12 wrote: I like pullin' up to big trucks at the gas station.

Good point, Ryan!

And "wchoc86": None of this was intended to be a slam on you or your state. And what the heck does the blue state comment mean? What does that have to do with trucks? What's your problem, anyway?

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:58 pm

wchoc86 wrote:(and it ain't cause it's a "blue" state)

Probably one of them there "mauve" states...

SplatterTone · Post by **SplatterTone** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:14 pm

There IS one sure way to increase horsepower.

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:14 pm

A pickup truck is so chintzy for passengers and the truck bed is too high to load comfortably.
I put trailer hitches on my Pontiac Bonneville and my Ford mini-van. A new 4 by 8 open trailer (with a roll-up ramp for my motorcycle and riding lawn mower) cost me $600. I can haul equipment in either car and tow the trailer with either if I need to haul something really big or tall.The trailer has lots of places to tie things down.

SplatterTone · Post by **SplatterTone** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:40 pm

Big trucks are fun. I just wish you didn't have to spend so much time scraping the bodies out of the grill.

Mark · Post by **Mark** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:40 pm

schlepporello wrote:I wish there was a little bitty car I could fit in comfortably and would haul everything I need to haul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz2eCFoafXk

At a used car lot, on the other side of town
a liberal guy and a liberal gal buy a Yugo.
And they drive with pride...

...fifty miles-to-the-gallon and their knees on their chests...

On of the funniest things I have ever heard. I sympathize with Wayne. I'm only 6'2" and there are very few cars I can drive without bangin my head into the roof.

SplatterTone · Post by **SplatterTone** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:18 pm

Things are a little different in the red states. This is what my grandmother drives to the beauty shop.

SplatterTone · Post by **SplatterTone** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:37 pm

Stereotypes?! What stereotypes?
Oh, by the way, we just got our thanksgiving pictures back from the drugstore.

MartyNeilan · Post by **MartyNeilan** » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:55 pm

the elephant wrote:Hey! don't mess with Norman! He's the best!!!!

Yeah, but doesn't it kinda look like the Vice President took that guy hunting right before dinner?

JCalkin · Post by **JCalkin** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:43 am

the elephant wrote:Everybody RUN! TAKE COVER!!!!

The generalities and stereotypes are falling from the sky all over this thread!

So, how do you feel about Jeeps . . . and those who drive them . . . ?

This is kind of old, but I thought you'd like it.

What Your Car Says About You

Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires.

Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp.

Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating up people.

Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.

Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis.

Datsun 280Z - I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.

Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones.

Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.

Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit.

Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely individualistic. just like all my friends with Jeeps.

Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.

Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.

Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.

Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler.

MGB - I am dating a mechanic.

Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.

Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock.

Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal.

Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet.

Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns.

Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet.

Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now.

Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife.

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:34 pm

schlepporello wrote:
I like pullin' up next to little bitty cars.

All vehicles should weigh EXACTLY 2,000 pounds. That way we would all have an equal chance of surviving! That sense of security of being able to look down on 'little bitty cars' I think fosters some sort of invincible attitude in certain individuals. Same goes for the 'high up' SUV's. The guys who really crack me up are the morons who put a 12" lift kit on their truck only to find that they still only have 10" of ground clearance under the axles! Duh!

Schlep... you are most certainly an exception to the 'invincible moron' name tag. Nice truck!

lgb&dtuba · Post by **lgb&dtuba** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:12 pm

bloke wrote:
A truck is a TOOL - a tool that is used to CARRY and PULL.

Prejudging (aka PREJUDICE) of others' choices could also be categorized as foolish.

bloke "whose tuba gig transportation 'tool' is a 33 mpg '97 Ford Escort wagon"

I'm going to have to agree with Bloke on this one. If you need the capacity and utility, then you need it. My Silverado's 8 foot bed gets filled up on a regular basis, and not just with music equipment. And it hauls my boat from time to time. And my utility trailer.

I don't have a rebel flag on it though. Does a Trout Unlimited sticker on the camper shell count?

JCalkin · Post by **JCalkin** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 1:45 pm

the elephant wrote:
JCalkin wrote:Jeep Wrangler - I am fiercely individualistic. just like all my friends with Jeeps.
That would be great, except none of my friends have Jeeps and none will ride with me in mine. They just laugh at me when I show up in it when it is covered in mud and I get out in my tuxedo for work â€¦

Of course, I got it because the streets here are so bad that my Volvo 740 and my Honda Accord have both completely blown out two sets of shocks in very short periods of time. (The brass quintet plays in some of the worst places in town as part of our Jackson Public Schools contract. Some of our streets are not even paved in some of these really bad places.)

Also, I got it because our parking situation for concerts is so bad that is gets coverage in the local fish-wrapper newspaper. I have gotten to work many times over the last 14 seasons to find that the ONLY available places to park legally within many blocks are far too narrow and short for a car. But the Jeep fits fine. Also, I can drive over nearly any curb or obstacle down there to get to a space. Frequently we have to park on the sidewalk. Driving over a nine inch curb and onto the sidewalk into a short, narrow space in my Jeep is never a problem.

See, Wade, the difference between you and (most of) the other folks I've known with Jeeps is that you USE yours for its intended purpose, and it suits all your vehicular needs. Most of the guys (and it's nearly ALWAYS guys) I knew in college with Wranglers bought them because they portray an image of rugged individuality, even though many of them had never even been on a gravel road, much less off-roading.

I have no problem with behemoth (or any size) SUVs or pickups per se, provided they are at least SOME OF THE DAMN TIME being put to the uses for which they were designed. What irks me is when I am stuck in rush-hour gridlock (or was, before I moved to NE) and see hundreds of the things idling their big engines, wasting gas, spewing crap into the air and occupied by (generally) one person.

If you use your rig for workin', more power to ya. If you just want to look tough and manly, go lift weights or grow a beard or something.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 2:06 pm

bloke wrote:

Around here, this (along with an any-county-but-Memphis'-county license plate) might get you a warning, rather than a citation.

Your local constabulary must be violists! Around here, it better be a tuba plate!

TMurphy · Post by **TMurphy** » Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:05 pm

I agree with the "trucks are tools" sentiment. If it suits your needs, then it simply makes sense to have a truck. I have no need for a truck, and even at 6'1", I fit in my tiny 94 Ford Escort just fine. And I get 30 MPG highway. So I'll stick with that. Eventually, I'd like to get a nice used Nissan Altima. Relible car, roomy enough for me to fit comfortably, and good on gas.

Rick Denney · Post by **Rick Denney** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:59 pm

wchoc86 wrote: most of the people where I live (or maybe it is just my school) who drive trucks are racist, chauvinistic, and downright ignorant.

Huh? In Pennsylvania? I work in and drive through Pennsylvania all the time, and while I believe that the state is Philadelphia on the east, Pittsburgh on the west and Kentucky in between, I have never, ever seen a confederate flag on display there. Had you said "Leading the way into the 17th century!" I would have been right there with you. But confederate flags?

"If you ain't UNION, you ain't SH&*", yes. But confederate flags? I'm not buying it.

People who drive pickups are either 1.) those who need to carry bulk materials too big or dirty to put in a trunk or back seat, or 2.) people who wish to be identified as the above. Take your pick.

Rick "who has met quite as many racists, bigots, and ignorant persons who drive econoboxes" Denney

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:33 am

the elephant wrote:

I'm with you.

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