Let my stupidity be your humor

jarrod.williams · Post by **jarrod.williams** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 10:30 am

As my penance, I must share this with you.

This could quite possibly be the dumbest thing I have ever done. About four weeks ago I was in a quintet rehearsal. I laid my cell phone down on my gig bag so that I could hear the phone ring during rehearsal. Usually, I turn it off, but I was expecting a very important call. I forgot my phone was on the gig bag; for the rest of the day, I couldn't find my cell phone so I assumed that I had lost it.

The next day when I began to play my horn, things just didn't feel right. I hadn't given it a bath in about 6 months, so I did so. Things didn't get better after the bath, so I called my tuba guru to set up an appointment. I described to him how stuffy the horn was now and how anything that had the 2nd valve in it was 35 cents flat. He couldn't work me in to the repair schedule until the end of February. So between my rehearsal back in January and yesterday, I played four concerts and several rehearsals, beating the hell out of my face to try to make this horn work. This morning I squeezed the upper branch of my axe with my left hand and out slid my cell phone, green with mold from the bath I had given my horn a month ago.

I am a certified idiot.

Thank you for reading my rant. Have a nice day.

Jarrod Williams

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:13 am

a) If it wasn't turned off, why didn't it make a real racket when you dial your own number to find it, like my wife does.

b) Didn't it make those annoying beeps when the battery was running low?

c)Of course you left it on. What kind of calendar does a tubist use for planning gigs? Year-at-a-glance!

(The difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead tubist in the same road? Not the skid marks in front of the snake, but the snake was on his way to a gig... )

OldsRecording · Post by **OldsRecording** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:44 pm

windshieldbug wrote:a) If it wasn't turned off, why didn't it make a real racket when you dial your own number to find it, like my wife does.

b) Didn't it make those annoying beeps when the battery was running low?

c)Of course you left it on. What kind of calendar does a tubist use for planning gigs? Year-at-a-glance!

(The difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead tubist in the same road? Not the skid marks in front of the snake, but the snake was on his way to a gig... )

Not necessarily. Seems how the phone had gotten wet, it had probably ceased functioning. I know just briefly getting wet screwed up mine, let alone getting soaked and sitting for a month- inside a tuba.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:11 pm

OldsRecording wrote:
windshieldbug wrote:a) If it wasn't turned off, why didn't it make a real racket when you dial your own number to find it, like my wife does.

b) Didn't it make those annoying beeps when the battery was running low?

c)Of course you left it on. What kind of calendar does a tubist use for planning gigs? Year-at-a-glance!

(The difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead tubist in the same road? Not the skid marks in front of the snake, but the snake was on his way to a gig... )
Not necessarily. Seems how the phone had gotten wet, it had probably ceased functioning. I know just briefly getting wet screwed up mine, let alone getting soaked and sitting for a month- inside a tuba.

Just yanking his chain... note the thread title!

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:31 pm

Hey Jarrod,
Everybody does dumb stuff but we seldom talk about it. We usually mean well and are quite surprised when we blunder into these situations.
I applaud your ability to laugh at yourself and your courage to reveal all to thugs like us.
Will this keep similar events from occuring in the future? Probably not.

tuba_hacker · Post by **tuba_hacker** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:03 pm

What kind of calendar does a tubist use for planning gigs? Year-at-a-glance!

ROTFL

jeopardymaster · Post by **jeopardymaster** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:00 pm

Long ago, when I was a lowly undergrad at CCM studying with Sam Green, I bought a Cerveny cannon for playing in large ensembles. I was really proud of it, but when I brought it in for its first lesson and started playing, he really crawled up my keester. Intonation was all over the place, response was fuzzy, etc etc. I had settled for a crappy horn.

When I got back to the practice room I turned it on its bell and got some books out of my bag. Clank clang. I lifted up the bell and discovered the wire music stand I had placed inside it the day before, to transport from a gig.

JCalkin · Post by **JCalkin** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:19 pm

Frequently when I have to carry tuba+mute around the music building, I do so by putting the mute in the bell, for convenience.

I often forget it's there and when I turn the horn bell-down to set it on the floor, the mute comes rocketing out of the bell and onto the floor.

That's why my mute is all dented, and also why I haven't bought a wooden one.

jarrod.williams · Post by **jarrod.williams** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:02 pm

[quote="windshieldbug"]a) If it wasn't turned off, why didn't it make a real racket when you dial your own number to find it, like my wife does.

Working here at the Naval Academy, I was concerned that some EE/Computer major would use my phone to hack the mainframe and start WWIII (subtle "Wargames" reference for you older people)--so I had the phone deactivated.

It took 15 years for the karma to come around to me, but perhaps this is payback for my laughter at a certain college classmate of mine who began his junior recital with his tuner and music stuck down his bell.

Sean, are you monitoring this thread?

Jarrod

Todd S. Malicoate · Post by **Todd S. Malicoate** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 6:30 pm

OUTSTANDING!!!

WoodSheddin · Post by **WoodSheddin** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:19 pm

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

Chuck Jackson · Post by **Chuck Jackson** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:40 pm

I can a complete and TOTAL dumbass, but I can't top this. You have a story that will keep party goers in stitches for years to come. Welcome to the club.

Chuck

Todd S. Malicoate · Post by **Todd S. Malicoate** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 12:23 am

jarrod.williams wrote:I laid my cell phone down on my gig bag so that I could hear the phone ring during rehearsal. Usually, I turn it off, but I was expecting a very important call.

Sorry I didn't get back to you, dude...my bad. I owe you a Free State Wheat Stout at your earliest convenience.

jarrod.williams wrote:I am a certified idiot.

Amanda "what's her name" was (is?) a certified idiot...comparitively, you could only hope to be an apprentice.

OldsRecording · Post by **OldsRecording** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:03 pm

snufflelufigus wrote:That's a neat trick... once upon a time I played the closing of a cool bar in NYC... the bar was called Siberia and was actually in the subway @ 50th St. and B'way... it was a skanky place with rats and roaches... a friend of mine (the bartender) decided to fill my horn up with ice and beer... it was the prettiest picture I ever did see... my tuba filled with ice and beer... well, I drank the beer and dumped the ice at some point... I also madeout with my friend Steve by accident and wound up not going home with my girlfriend... instead I wound up at some other hotties house... the next day I went to a rehearsal and my horn was stuffy... some chick put her bra in my horn... there was also a dead roach in my gig bag (not the kind you smoke)... BEER IS GOOD!

Well, there... I think you win with that one.

JB · Post by JB » Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:41 pm

snufflelufigus wrote:... I also madeout with my friend Steve by accident and wound up not going home with my girlfriend...

must have been quite an accident

ken k · Post by **ken k** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:33 pm

welcome to the world of homosapiens....

Wait until you hit 45.....

ken "spit happens... often time dumb spit too....." k

Tom Holtz · Post by **Tom Holtz** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:24 pm

100% solid.

Rock Chalk Jayhawk.

TubeNet

Let my stupidity be your humor

Let my stupidity be your humor

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