Trying to find motivation in a lost competition...

[jdicesar]

Since I am getting badgered for deleting this I will type it again. I didn't want to delete it but people were very badly misunderstanding me, and I didn't want to discussion to go any further for fear of worse assumptions. I understand this could be useful to others so I hope it helps someone(including myself)

Ok, here we go..

I competed in a scholarship competition this past Saturday. I played probably some of the best playing I have ever done, and was extremely excited after it all was over. Of course; I still found flaws in my performance(But who ever is completely happy with what they do? That's how we get better.) I thought for sure I was going to win something. I couldn't wait to hear the verdict whether I was going to win something or not. Later on that day I find out that I did not win anything so I was kind of bummed, let down and frankly turned a possibly very motivational situation into something completely opposite!

I then later found out from the room monitor that the judge said the competition was VERY good and he was having a hard time deciding. He used a points system and every player was within 6 points! And he was extremely excited about the level of play.

Once I heard this I got extremely excited. I then instead of focusing on the loss I was trying to focus on my great performance and the comments from the judge. I was an undergrad music ed major going against performance majors and graduate students all over the state so I was pleased to see that I was able to atleast be competitive.

I came on here and posted my post, asking everyone how they found motivation in losing something. How they could turn it into a positive experience so it just made them try harder instead of focusing so much on losing the competition/audition.

Things that were misunderstood:
- THE JUDGE WAS AMAZING. I never once said or complained about the judge. He was a great judge, and I respect his decision completely! I do not feel his judging was wrong AT ALL my not winning is completely my fault!
- I am in no way, shape, or form blaming someone else for my loss. I played my complete best and take full responsibility for it. I'm the one that played the notes through my horn, no one else.

I am/did not create this post to complain or blame my loss on other people. I created this post to see if other people had similiar situations, and I was hoping to create more motivation by others experiences.

I apologize for attempting to close this post, but I felt extremely uncomfortable about the comments especially the one about the judge. I do not want to get into any judge misjudgings or biases or cheating or ANYTHING like this because it is simply not the case.

I really hope this post turns into something good rather than just putting me in the fire for doing something rather rash by just deleting the post because of getting scared it was going completely down the wrong path.

-John

[eupher61]

First of all, don't put a "performance major" up on a pedestal as a superior being. Lots of lowly ed majors take performance seriously, to the point of doing performance-level lessons (some schools have distinct lesson levels; my undergrad was 4 hours for a performance major, 2 hours for a non-performance major, per semester) and playing in more situations than a performance major could.

Take this as what it is: you were outplayed. Pure and simple. There were others that, for whatever reasons, the judge(s) thought were better than you. That doesn't mean you were bad, that you didn't play well. Put those same specific performances in front of a different panel, the results would likely be different. Maybe the judge was a trumpet player who thinks tuba players are all fat slobs with nothing to say but OOM. Maybe it was a string player who knows nothing and cares less about brass playing in general.

But...the only level that counts, is that on that given day, you weren't the best.

It's tough, but you gotta deal with it. If this sets you back so far, if you're really as bummed as you seem to be, I hate to say it, but you're gonna have tough times as a teacher ahead of you. What will happen when you take your HS band to state contest (regional, district, sectional, whatever the first phase is)? If the rating is less than the top, and you feel the performance was better than that...will you be bummed out and sulk and try to blame someone else? There's no real blame, no faults...you're being judged and compared by a person who may or may not have a bias, and definitely has ideas of what things are supposed to sound like.

Not much you can do but use it as a learning experience and try again!

What literature did you play?

[windshieldbug]

You have a goal. You know what the criteria are, and that you are within spitting distance of being where you want to be.

When I was racing, being close meant that I had a clear target to meet, and that I had to keep my nose to the grindstone to get even better. Either I knew what to do, or had to learn even more because I knew that being faster had to do with not only talent, but preparation. As do most endeavors in life.

For me, coming close was a clear motivational factor, because I knew that I could overcome it, and succeed.

[tubafatness]

Do you think you played well? It seems from your first paragraph that this is true. Who cares if you didn't win the title? Music isn't just about the titles, it's the actual process of making the music that counts in the end.

[Richardrichard9]

Don't you hate it when you miss the first part of a conversation that could be useful to you?

njm

I was thinking the same thing when I came open the "closed"

[jdicesar]

Yes as a matter of fact I do hate that.

And I did not delete it because I did not like the comments.. I deleted it because I felt people were misunderstanding me COMPLETELY and I did not feel the least bit comfortable talking about it anymore.

Trust me.. The comments and criticism did not make me delete the post...

[Richardrichard9]

[quote="jdicesar"] I deleted it because I felt people were misunderstanding me COMPLETELY and I did not feel the least bit comfortable talking about it anymore.
[quote]

If people were misunderstaning it why not explain your intentions?

[eupher61]

Trust me.. The comments and criticism did not make me delete the post...

criticism? It seems there's more criticism since the OP was deleted.

[jdicesar]

Can we please turn this post into something productive.

[SplatterTone]

Can we please turn this post into something productive.

Well ... we could have another mouthpiece thread. Or valve oil thread.

But, you know, I don't believe I have ever seen a good discussion on the best way to sharpen a chainsaw. And that is something every tuba player should know.

Is it best to use those hand file things? Or the stones with the built-in angle and depth gauge that you put in a drill? Or the dedicated hand-held sharpener that is the equivalent of a bit in a drill? Or the bench sharpener? Wow! So many choices, and the topic has been left untouched for so long. It's time we be manly men and discuss this critical topic. I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

[jdicesar]

Yes, professional. One judge.

And congrats on that story! That is absolutely amazing. I wish I would have played tuba outside of marching band in high school.

It is great to see tuba players competing with strings and other instruments.

[Biggs]

strings dont have to use air....

Air is free. We've been inhaling and exhaling since birth. That behavior seems a lot simpler when compared to string players' fingerboard muscle memory.

[Roger Lewis]

is from a slightly diffrerent perspective. Music Ed or Performance - it doesn't matter when you really care about your playing. You're a musician first - a teracher/student second.

I recently judged a competition and there were very specific things that ths judging panel agreed on. Tempo, dynamics and rhythm.

If you are going to take some slight liberties with tempo, they need to be "set-up" so that the audience knows something is happening. Remember, when performing you are playing for yourself and the audience. Whichever one matters more to you? Who knows. but if you are playing for the audience, you need to be able to "lead them by the hand" through what you are doing. If you make tempo changes and rhythm changes without setting them up first, you lose your audience.

For example, if you are going to make an abrupt increase in tempo at a specific spot, set it up by making an obvious and distinctive move in a specific direction first. Communicate. That's what we do. The more the audience understands what you are doing, the more they can follow your interpretation, even if they do not know the piece.

Also, remember - you are like the actor on the stage. The actor does not make a small gesture - he makes a larger than life gesture, so that the people in the cheap seats can see it and understand it. As a musician, you need to do the same thing. Often, what you think you are doing in your head is not being communicated from the bell. Make it bigger than life so that the audience cannot mininterpret what you are doing. An example of this is a too fast, too narrow vibrato. It sounds good in your head, but your audience may interpret this as nerves from what they hear.

Also, the preliminary piece I judged starts with a section marked "p", then goes to another section marked "mp". I did not hear a lot of soft playing and even heard these dynamics reversed sometimes. Sometimes we emphasize the "power" that we can play with and tend to neglect the soft "finesse" that we can also accomplish.

Play on.

Peace
Roger

[MikeMason]

To the OP, i think this thread has turned out to be pretty valuable for you and many others following it.Thanks for reposting.I understand why you posted,deleted,and reposted.It makes some sense to me.Tubenet is a good place to float ideas and get honest feedback.We will let you know if you're doing something stupid or not.I did alot of stupid sh!t in college(still doing some now) and my teacher,James Jenkins,kicked my *** without mercy.I still love him for caring enough to do that.The tuba is and may always be seen by the public(and other musicians too)as a novelty act as a solo instrument.The one good thing about that is since expectations are usually so low,it can set up some "wow" moments for us.

[Dean]

Was there really only one judge?? Just one?


You are being way too hard on yourself then bud. Ignore it. Really. No close competition can be decided by one person. Such competitions usually have 3 or more judges that come to an agreement. I've been on panels before, and when the competition is close, they often do not agree on the top couple placements.

Just use those comments as best you can and move on.


Oh, and I haven't yet seen the original thread, so I have no idea what went on there.