Update Update

[Nick Pierce]

Actually, according to the local vernacular, I think it should have been:
"You'se Got A Friend In Pennsylvania"

No, I mean this:
"From someone who used to live in a state whose license plate proclaimed...etc. etc.

[windshieldbug]

Actually, according to the local vernacular, I think it should have been:
"You'se Got A Friend In Pennsylvania"

No, I mean this:
"From someone who used to live in a state whose license plate proclaimed...etc. etc.

Guilty as charged, sir. Anything in the spirit of humor!

[The Jackson]

UPDATE:


Sorry, guys, I can't come out and play. My piano teacher says I have to listen to Philip Glass all day today!

[Nick Pierce]

Actually, according to the local vernacular, I think it should have been:
"You'se Got A Friend In Pennsylvania"

No, I mean this:
"From someone who used to live in a state whose license plate proclaimed...etc. etc.

Guilty as charged, sir. Anything in the spirit of humor!

Very well then. As you were gents!




















Or if you prefer...









Oh, and update. I believe I've maxed out the allowed quotes. I win!

[OldsRecording]

There is raspberry preserves on my computer keyboard making it sticky.

Scoobus Jr (18 months) has clearly been here...

I'd say your best bet is to put the keyboard in the dishwasher. It is a little-known fact that most keyboards are, in fact, dishwasher-safe.

[windshieldbug]

There is raspberry preserves on my computer keyboard making it sticky.

Scoobus Jr (18 months) has clearly been here...

I'd say your best bet is to put the keyboard in the dishwasher. It is a little-known fact that most keyboards are, in fact, dishwasher-safe.

I thought that it was "Most keyboards should be stored in a dishwasher safe"

[SplatterTone]

Oh, I dunno. It kind of goes with dancing naked in the lawn sprinkler waving a bottle of Boone's Farm. Happens all the time.

[OldsRecording]

Oh, I dunno. It kind of goes with dancing naked in the lawn sprinkler waving a bottle of Boone's Farm. Happens all the time.

You mean that's WRONG? Oh, crap...

[windshieldbug]

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
A cup o' cold tea.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Without milk or sugar.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Or tea.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
In a cracked cup, an' all.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, 'e was right.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye, 'e was.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
Cardboard box?
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Aye.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN:
Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN:
Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN:
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

[TubaRay]

UPDATE:

It is time to drag out this old photo and brighten everyone's day.

And you did. I guess you could call it that, anyway.

[SplatterTone]

Finally got around to renewing the NRA membership after letting it lapse a few months.
I have decided I want to marry Ann Coulter.

[OldsRecording]

Finally got around to renewing the NRA membership after letting it lapse a few months.
I have decided I want to marry Ann Coulter.

[TubaRay]

Scooby: What do I have to do to be invited to the party?

[The Jackson]

UPDATE:
I am watching the first Star Trek movie (for the first time) right now.

TWENTY MINUTE-LONG PROFILE SHOTS OF V'GER

WE GET IT. IT'S A BIG SHIP.

[MartyNeilan]

I just finished cleaning the carpet on the first floor. While getting dinner on the table earlier this evening, my youngest toddled into the kitchen with poop on his hand, arm, and all over him. A quick check of the living room showed more signs of poopage. After a quick hose down and bath, toys were cleaned and areas were spot-cleaned, but it seemed like the only sure way to get rid of all the poop was to break out the first-gen Bissell after everyone else went to bed.

[NC_amateur_euph]

UPDATE:

The entropy of the universe has increased. It is at least partially offset by the increase in enthalpy.

If you understand and appreciate this, join me in the Mothership at 128 for further action.

Man, that's good stuff!

[The Jackson]

UPDATE:

The entropy of the universe has increased. It is at least partially offset by the increase in enthalpy.

If you understand and appreciate this, join me in the Mothership at 128 for further action.

Man, that's good stuff!

So, does that mean I'll get better dice rolls if I turn the AC off?

[TubaRay]

Scooby: What do I have to do to be invited to the party?

You're in...

Thanks, Scooby. I'll try to keep my tongue in my mouth.

[TubaRay]

UPDATE:

The reason Wade cannot discuss the "why" of his blog is because some years ago he was put on the witness protection program. His former name was Edaw Lee Rack. They had to change that so that no one would be able to track him down. Fortunately, word of this will never get out, so I'm certain he is 100% safe.

[windshieldbug]

The reason Wade cannot discuss the "why" of his blog is because some years ago he was put on the witness protection program. His former name was Edaw Lee Rack. They had to change that so that no one would be able to track him down. Fortunately, word of this will never get out, so I'm certain he is 100% safe.

Update:

He was put in the WPP for being "mean" to the wrong people...