7 octave range

[Donn]

If I were magically offered virtuoso mastery of the pitches between two D's below the staff and the G above the staff "for a price", I would quickly exchange that absolutely mastery for the ability to play any pitches outside that range.

Hm ... well, don't worry, I think we know what you meant!

[Matt G]

I used to own a Jerome Callet tuba that gave me an 8 Octave range.

[windshieldbug]

Here is a violist working on a two-octave range:

[MaryAnn]

Well, an octave on the piano is about, what, seven inches? So 8 X 7 = 56 inches, and yeah I could probably throw a tuba that far.

MA

[kingrob76]

I have a 7 octave range, but, they're non-consecutive octaves, which makes for some interesting listening.

[Chuck Jackson]

I can play just as high on the piano as Lang-Lang. Let's see if he can do the same on the tuba. Take that!!!!!!

[Chuck Jackson]

used to play high on the piano. But the wife kept making me climb down. It got to be a drag after a while. Now I just watch Reality Television.

Hah, good one Wade. Remember the old skit on Monty Python that went something like this:

Woman 1: What do you think of sex on the telly?

Woman 2: Don't know, I keep falling off.

Announcer: The penquin on top of your TV will now explode.

Woman 1: I hate when that happens. Hard to find penquins these days.

Chuck "who admires both the subtlety and lunacy of the Pythons"Jackson

[windshieldbug]

TV Announcer:
That was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", adapted radio by Bernard Hollowood and Brian London. And now, Radio 4 will explode.

Music

(The radio explodes
Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One looks at the other.)

First Old Women (Graham Chapman):
We'll have to watch the telly then.

Second Old Women (John Cleese):
Yes.

First Old Women:
Well, what's on the television then?

Second Old Women:
It looks like a penguin.

(On the TV set there is indeed a penguin. It sits contentedly looking at them in a stuffed sort of way. There is nothing on the screen.)

First Old Women:
No, no, no, I didn't mean what was on the television set, I meant what programme?

Second Old Women:
Oh.

(The Second Old Women goes to the TV, switches it on and returns to her chair. The set takes a long time to warm up and produce a picture. During this pause the following conversation takes place.)


Second Old Women:
It's funny that penguin being there, innit?
What's it doing there?

First Old Women:
Standing.

Second Old Women:
I can see that!

First Old Women:
If it lays an egg it will fall down the back of the Television set.

Second Old Women:
We'll have to watch that.
(pause)
Unless it's a male.

First Old Women:
Ooh, I never thought of that.

Second Old Women:
Yes, looks fairly butch.

First Old Women:
Perhaps it comes from next door.

Second Old Women:
Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic.

First Old Women:
BURMA!
(sound of tea spoon being dropped into tea cup)

Second Old Women:
Why did you say Burma?

First Old Women:
I panicked.

Second Old Women:
Oh. Perhaps it's from the Zoo.

First Old Women:
Which zoo?

Second Old Women:
How should I know which Zoo?
I'm not Dr. Bloody Bronowski!!

First Old Women:
How does Dr. Bronowski know which zoo it came from?

Second Old Women:
He knows everything!

First Old Women:
Oh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery out of life. Anyway if it was from the zoo it would have 'Property of the Zoo' stamped on it!

Second Old Women:
No it wouldn't, They don't stamp animals 'Property of the Zoo'!!! You couldn't stamp a huge lion.

First Old Women:
They stamp them when they're small.

Second Old Women:
What happens when they moult?

First Old Women:
Lions don't moult!

Second Old Women:
No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.

First Old Women:
OH, INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!

(On the TV screen there now appears an announcer)

TV Announcer:
Hello. It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.

(The penguin on top of the set now explodes.)

First Old Women:
How did he know that was going to happen?!

TV Announcer:
It was an inspired guess. And now ...