full blown excses take 2

[ken k]

We will let the old excuses thread go off on the tubashaman intervention and try this one again.

I found an old brass players excuses t-shirt in a rag pile today. it brought back some memories....

enjoy...

I haven't had time to practice.
My horn is cold.
I practiced it faster.
I had to cough.
I've never played this before.
There's water in my horn.
My lip is shot.
i didn't know we were repeating.
It sounded better at home.
My tuning slide is stuck.
The transpositins is changed.
That's a bad note on my horn.
My lips are chapped.
A valve is sticking.
i had to breathe.
I don't like this piece anyway.

ken "feel free to add some more to the list....but keep them anonymous please" k

[Tom Waid]

Now that I'm over sixty...

Sorry about that, I had a senior moment.

[ken k]

And here's one I find myself using more and more.

Ya know, I'm over 50 now and the ol' mind isn't quite as sharp as it used to be.

And let's not forget:

My fingers have been likened as to lightning, they seldom strike in the same place twice.

Yeah I hear ya schlepp, my weak link is my vision. The bi-focals never seem to be focused at the right spot!

If the mind isn't sharp, hopefully the pitch isn't either!

k

[The Big Ben]

Sorry my 20J sounds/smells so bad...My cat crawled up all the way to the third branch, got stuck and died.

[windshieldbug]

The conductor is obviously a saxophone player.
All I could hear from where I was sitting was that bagpipe bass trombone.
Lighten up! It's not like anyone was listening to me, anyway.
The violas were playing too loud.
It's your fault. If you wanted it done THAT well, you should have told me!

[KevinMadden]

After getting the hand,
"but I'm already playing as soft as I can!"

[windshieldbug]

[SplatterTone]

I helped out at the charity kissing booth yesterday. I was so popular, my lips are still tired.

[The Jackson]

(In response to being called on for a horrid, blatting sound by a sousaphone player)

"This is marching band."

[TubaCoopa]

(In response to being yelled at by your band teacher for playing too loud.)

"I'm sorry, it's just... (begin crying) This is the best tuba I've ever played in my life! Thank you for this wonderful investment in my future!!! (full-blown sob)"

[SplatterTone]

I accidentally swallowed a plug of chewing tobacco ... a big plug.

I just got back from listening to the Schmenge Brothers, and I can't get this great accordion tune out of my head.
viewtopic.php?t=23877
(but it looks like all the Schmenge Brothers videos are gone from the video sites)

[davidgilbreath]

This one actually worked:

"My wife is pregnant."

[The Jackson]

He didn't edit his post.

[eupher61]

The Chinese tubist is really too young for this competition.

[TubaRay]

The Chinese tubist is really too young for this competition.

LOL

[windshieldbug]

I listened to some bloke who knew more than everyone else who was posting...

[The Big Ben]

I accidentally swallowed a plug of chewing tobacco ... a big plug.

Hey that wasn't me making those noises! It's this guy next to me throwing up into his tuba!

Hey, HEY! I wasn't *throwing up*, I was *warming up*.

[tubatooter1940]

The reason you couldn't hear my tuba in the parade was due to the fact that all the hottie majorettes needed someplace to stash the stuff the guys on the parade floats threw to them and I was hoping to get lucky.

[MartyNeilan]

The elephant hurt my feelings!

[TMurphy]

Student: I don't know how to play that note.

Me: It's a F. it's the first note I ever taught you....

Student: ..............oh yeah. That's 1 & 2, right???

Me: ...........