Blog?

[MaryAnn]

Eh...maybe I did miss the point. If it's something you don't want to post, send me a PM. Really.
MA

[Rick Denney]

First, they are there because they have to be. No one wants to listen to clever comments all day when worrying about making payments. Few aspire to serve fries.

Second, they are working within a system over which they have no control. Those chicken-fried steaks most likely came out of a box frozen or were prepared long in advance of the arrival of the TubaMeister entourage that was dining that night. Going into the kitchen and wrestling with a cook that has his own problems to deal with within the system to convince him to convert that sirloin into the requested chicken-fried steak will result in a slow down and the accompanying smaller tips for the rest of the night. Heels will be dug in...

Third, the acquisition of "hard-earned high ground" should also teach some compassion for those who have not/will never make it to the high ground from which some observe the world. I'll agree that there are those snotty, little punks who need a good lashing while they are passing though "the service sector on their way to high ground." They should be fully respecting your authority. However...

Hold on a sec while I set the hook.

The point is that blog post was intended to be entertaining, which means that it was intended to serve as everyone's often secretly desired response in the face of sullen and uncooperative servers.

But, since you took my fake blog post seriously, I should add a couple of points: 1.) I laughed at my own joke, as did the waitress and everyone within earshot. 2.) I had my sirloin steak medium rare, and I enjoyed it, and 3.) I bloody well know (and knew then) that the chicken-fried steaks at Shoneys come from a freezer pack.

I would argue vehemently that underemployed service workers don't appreciate intelligent interaction with their customers. As one who has worked in ice-cream shops, a Whataburger, a grocery store, and various bike shops, I have a little experience as a service worker who expected more from life that stocking groceries. It was often me that ended up at the cash register in these jobs, primarily because I could add and subtract, and because I wasn't afraid to interact with customers on their level. I do not expect a service worker to bow their heads and obey silently. But I do expect them to be polite, just as I was expected to be polite. I learned all this from my mother, who sold fashion jewelry in a fancy specialty store. She taught me that the burden of politeness is on the service worker, even when the customer is not polite. I heard many stories around the dinner table of pompous rich people lording it over the people behind the counter, and how my mother, through cleverness and good humor, managed them. It sucks, but there it is.

I deeply appreciated when a customer offered an honest opinion, but I wasn't afraid to manage it. "I'm sorry you feel that way" will often defuse that anger. And, "yes, I know, but it's the policy I'm required to follow". Or, "Here's what I can do that may satisfy your desire and allow me to work within policy." The problem is that many who sell things think that the things they sell are more important than the people to whom they sell them. They think this because they are taught to think this, and will only think differently if they are taught how to. I also appreciated a skilled barb against the policy from a customer. One thing I would never do is try to defend someone else's policy--all that does is cause a confrontation in which nobody wins and in which the server is in the most vulnerable position. Were I the coffee dude, I would have said, "I'm required to follow a policy of not pouring espresso over ice. So how about if I make you an iced Americano, hold the water?" That would have resulted in laugher all around (at the irony inherent in arbitrary policies), a happy (and now loyal) customer, a happy server, more respect given to people than to coffee, and a followed policy.

The problems I had in the service sector weren't with the customers. They were with the other workers, who preferred to be sullen and uncooperative. Those were choices they made, and it seems to me they paid the highest price for those choices. They became cynical, and only talked of how bad the job was. There was no relation I could detect between this attitude and age or circumstance. There were many older workers for whom this was their permanent life who actively chose to enjoy the work and to enjoy their interaction with customers. Like them, I generally had more fun, even if I did anticipate moving beyond these jobs. And, yes, I had to work in these jobs--my parents required me to work if wanted anything beyond food and shelter, and not working would have meant losing their respect, which was (and still is, for that matter) worth a lot to me.

Rick "who had to swallow his pride on any number of occasions, and who didn't always do so gracefully" Denney

[Mark]

...a Whataburger...

Obligatory TubeNet left turn:

A double Whataburger with jalepenos. Sometimes I really miss Texas.

[Rick Denney]

"Intelligent interaction" is sometimes wasted on folks.

Yes, but sometimes you have to try.

Most people, when treated poorly, will treat poorly in return, and the interaction escalates by degrees to full confrontation until someone walks away. Either person can choose not to take the next step of escalation. The person who is paid to be in that situation, however, is professionally obligated to do so in addition to both of them being morally obligated to do so. Neither person has control over the other, and trying to exercise such control just escalates the situation further.

When two people have a car accident, one often sues the other. Legal issues are evaluated, but in addition to legal issues, a fundamental question gets asked: Who had the last clear chance to avoid the accident? Even those who are legally in the right still get slapped with some responsibility because they did not exercise due caution and didn't take action to prevent the accident. Clearly, the coffee geek was in the wrong, but the customer didn't exactly keep his side of the street clean. But it wasn't the first coffee geek, who was following orders, but rather the barista (what a silly word) who deserved the thumping. It was he who defended the policy in solemn terms and therefore showed more respect for the coffee than for the person standing in front of him. Had that guy handed the cup of ice and the espresso to the customer without comment, there would have been no confrontation--once they decided to accommodate the customer they were obligated (yes, even in moral terms) to do it cheerfully. That "this is just Not Okay" comment was missing the last clear chance to avoid the accident, it seems to me.

The waitress did not hold my little joke against me because it was delivered with good humor, and that is never wasted. Because it was delivered with good humor, it was followed up by "Naw, medium rare will be fine." If she did take offense, then she really needs to consider her goals in life. Some people just need to lighten up, for their own sake. I know what I'm talking about: That person is often me.

Getting back to the thread: A lot of blogs are fantasies of the way people wish they had acted in a certain case. Perhaps the guy in the coffee shop was not just a fantasy, but I gather in the end that he wished it had been. We enjoy fantasies, but we should be wise enough not to act them out when we shouldn't. A lot of blogs are also opportunities for those people who are cynical about life to express their cynicism. As another poster quoted, they howl at the moon. Hey, I don't have to read it. Most blogs, though, are people who believe their point of view is important to others, for whatever reason. Most people who post on the Internet suffer from that delusion to some extent. I know I do.

Rick "and so do you" Denney

[Uncle Buck]

For more specifics, a p.m. would be required.

Not too difficult to read between the lines of what you described. Unfortunately, I imagine you are correct.

[TexTuba]

...a Whataburger...

Obligatory TubeNet left turn:

A double Whataburger with jalepenos. Sometimes I really miss Texas.

Double Whataburger with bacon and cheese....up-sized with a chocolate shake. God I love Texas....

[Rick Denney]

...a Whataburger...

Obligatory TubeNet left turn:

A double Whataburger with jalepenos. Sometimes I really miss Texas.

"DD m/m" is how I would have marked the sack for my favorite at the time: Double-meat, double cheese, mayo instead of mustard. About 3000 calories, 92% from saturated fat. Guaranteed to keep cardiac surgery a profitable profession. But oh so tasty.

Probably the best big-chain fast-food hamburger in existence. There are some regional chains that give it real competition, such as Blakes Lotaburger in New Mexico, Five Guys in the DC area, and others I've never experienced. But for one that covers a big portion of the country, Whataburger is hard to beat.

Rick "whose place of employ--still there--was the Whataburger at 2828 Chimney Rock in Houston" Denney

[NC_amateur_euph]

Please stop it, people.

I now live in North Carolina and love it but......

No Whataburgers. No chicken-fried steak. Rarely any decent Tex-Mex.

Waaaaaah

D "who will buy Massey's in Ft. Worth with his lottery winnings so he can have CFS on demand" L