If your horn could talk...

[Nick Pierce]

what stories would it have to tell?

For instance, on the bell my PT-3 it says "Made in the German Democratic Republic." That was East Germany during the Cold War, controlled the USSR, on the other side of the Iron Curtain. I bought it on from Kolacny Music Store in Denver, CO, who had it on consignment. At some point I'd like to trace it's steps and figure out where it's been, who has played it, etc.

I've seen/read about some real gems and war-horses on here: ebay finds, craiglist fodder, treasures dug up in garage sales, etc. Grizzled veterans with old war stories begging to be told. Let's hear um!

[MartyNeilan]

If your horn could talk... what stories would it have to tell?

"Stop French kissing me all day!"

[eupher61]

my B&S would say "wow, that dent is wonderful!"

[TexTuba]

My horn:

"One day this big S.O.B. is going to learn how to play me...."

[Nick Pierce]

Nick, get a copy of The Red Violin on DVD. It is a movie that features the fiddle in question (a fictional one) as the star character, following it throughout its 300 year life, detailing who played it and what happened to it. It is fascinating. I highly recommend this movie to any musician.

http://www.videodetective.com/?publishedid=8292

You will have to watch a commercial for Southern Comfort. Sorry.

While not a great movie, it is very good and a solid 7 or so on my personal scale and is fascinating in its own right. Warning: LOTS of subtitles. The movie is in English, Italian, French, German and Chinese. It is worth it. The effect of all those linguistic sounds washing over your ears is great in that it makes the sound of the violin the only consistent sound in the movie. It is one of the few movies I own that I have watched many times over.

Hey look, Samuel L Jackson, it must be good.

Thanks for the recommendation, I'll have to find that.

Speaking of colored instruments, wasn't there a video involving a red tuba on here a while back?

[Tom Holtz]

"Would it kill you to WASH ME ONCE IN A WHILE?!? Get off your lazy *** and clean out the last ten years' worth of beverage blow-through. I smell like a FREAKIN' SEWER HERE!!!"

[eupher61]

If my horn could talk...
If my horn could talk,
Married men would have to pack their bags and walk
Except one or two who never drink booze
And the blind man on the corner who plays the My Horn Blues

bloke does it again!

Who can name what he's parodying? Besides bloke, me, and Eli...

[eupher61]

I'd rather be there
when bloke sets down his helicon

I'd rather be there
when bloke sets down his helicon

And if bloke looks 'way
his helicon will be gone

[windshieldbug]

If your horn could talk...

I can play the "Pledge of Allegiance" on my trombone...

Does that count...??

There was a post in this space that was obviously not in the spirit of the way this thread has turned out...

[ken k]

Like that dirty truck you end up following on the highway, with the classic message scratched into the dirt.....
"Wash ME!"

ken k

[k001k47]

If my horn could talk, we would be best friends.

(not really )

[The Jackson]

"You need a mint, man..."

[Rob]

Where'd you go last night? I saw you stepping out with another horn.....who's that...what am I not good enough for you? It looked like a BAT, what do you think I'm not fat enough...and what about that helicon I saw you bring home the other day.....and I'm really tired of you going on long walks with that cute little Conn 14k, what's she got that I don't....


Rob "perhaps it's good my horns don't talk"

[Nick Pierce]

This has turned out to be an entertaining thread. Not quite what I had in mind, but I like it.

[eupher61]

If your horn could talk...

I can play the "Pledge of Allegiance" on my trombone...

Does that count...??

Bloke, put your trombone on a sofa, I'll read "War and Peace" on it.

[eupher61]

To get into Nick's intent maybe just a bit...

My Weril would say "Why did DHL fly me from LA to Denver, truck me to Columbus OH, then fly me to KC?"

My former Conn Jumbo BBb would say "Hey, that Paxman is really big!"

[peter birch]

"...your hands are cold.."

"you and I make such sweet music together..."

"who's that fool wagging a white stick?"

[windshieldbug]

"who's that fool wagging a white stick?"

... and why does he think I'll pay ANY attention to that hand?

(True story: I knew that I was where I belonged when one concert the Music Director gave me 'the hand' as a cue!)

[tubatooter1940]

My old King would say:
"I love the time we spend together but your breath rinse isn't cutting it."

[The Big Ben]

When I bought my King, it had some obvious vandalism damage. Some kids played 'who can make the biggest dent?' on the bell.

So my horn says, "I love you. You treat me better than they did." That's true. Dan O. cleaned up the bell, chemcleaned it and put in new valve guides. I play it every day!