Update Update

[Kevin Hendrick]

I don't wanna be cool. I wanna be old and cranky. I've worked long and hard to get that way and I deserve it.

You poor old man! I'm older than you are, but I'm soooooo cool! Ask anyone.

And so modest, too!

[TubaRay]

I don't wanna be cool. I wanna be old and cranky. I've worked long and hard to get that way and I deserve it.

You poor old man! I'm older than you are, but I'm soooooo cool! Ask anyone.

And so modest, too!

Absolutely! And so accurate, as well.

[Kevin Hendrick]

You poor old man! I'm older than you are, but I'm soooooo cool! Ask anyone.

And so modest, too!

Absolutely! And so accurate, as well.

Precisely!

[Rick Denney]

Absolutely! And so accurate, as well.

UPDATE: Ray thought he was wrong once.

But then he realized that he was mistaken.

Rick "who heard that from him" Denney

[tofu]

***

[LoyalTubist]

For your information:
1. The LoyalTubist eats all manner of red meat.
2. The LoyalTubist now gets a haircut every Friday unless his job requirements take him out of town. He then gets it cut on Friday. He allows the barber, usually a pretty Filipina, to trim his full beard.
3. The LoyalTubist cannot eat certain pastries (such as donuts and bearclaws). This means more for the other members of the TubeNet. He is a Type II diabetic who hasn't required any medication in the past week!
4. The LoyalTubist generally doesn't eat organ meat, with the exception of Rocky Mountain oysters (surprisingly popular in rural parts of the Philippines, usually barbecued, which is different.)
5. Last year at this time, the LoyalTubist was 25 pounds overweight (aproximately 215 lbs.) Since his stroke in November, he has had some problem staying ABOVE 150 lbs. His Filipino doctor actually encourages him to eat at McDonald's for every meal (something he couldn't do last year since there are no Mickey D's in Vietnam.)
6. The Filipinos have no idea what Mickey D's is. Their unique abbreviation of McDonald's is McDo's.
7. The Vietnamese still consider the LoyalTubist to be fat, even though he is under 158 pounds, which is considered to be a normal weight for a Vietnamese male. (What does this have to do with living in the Philippines?)
8. The LoyalTubist's fiancee just saw him this weekend, coming to Cagayan de Oro from the huge metropolis of Lugait. She had never seen anyone devour more McDonald's hamburgers at one sitting in her whole life.
9. The LoyalTubist is running out of things to put here to make ten items.
10. This is the tenth item.

[windshieldbug]

11. Our best wishes are with the LoyalTubist
12. With his impending nuptuals, too.
13. !!!!

You were not current, but now you have been updated.

[MartyNeilan]

Update:

Hell has frozen over

UPDATE:

Next thing you know, someone will tell us "the sky is falling." Then what will be do?

SkyLab is falling? Impossible!

[Kevin Hendrick]

15. Next time I'm passing through Galesburg MI on my way to Chicago, I'm going to look up Kevin Hendrick because I think he's funny and was sad to hear he's been ill. I also hope he is getting better everyday.

LJ"who knows what it's like to be on the mend"V

Thanks, LJ -- 'preciate the good thoughts! All goes well so far. Looking forward to meeting you!

[LoyalTubist]

14. Philippine McDo's has "McSpaghetti!"

It's sickeningly sweet and made with processed cheese (buttermilk based).

[Kevin Hendrick]

We just passed another milestone (millstone? kidney stone? anyway ... ) -- 50,000 posts in Off Topic:

[windshieldbug]

... and kudos to Marty!

[elimia]

The new Stihl chainsaw works leaps and bounds better than the soon-to-be-retired Sears Craftsman POS. Cut up some nice firewood today from the big Ohio Valley ice storm last month.

Thank goodness we've been updated. C'mon folks, it's been a few days, let's get back in the game here.

[rocksanddirt]

Kid update:

eldest daughter's fiddle group played at a dinner held at the local unitarian church. recorded it on my H2, they sounded great, now to massage it into a cd....

Monday they play as the featured performer at a local open mic event.

[Kevin Hendrick]

... and kudos to Marty!

Yes, but Kevin was 50002 and Marty was 50001. So who was the mystery viewer that made 50001? Unfortunately, this information was probably lost for all time. How sad…

The first thing I thought of was "Sean would know" ... on thinking it through, though, I believe I've located it. See if this makes sense:

Marty's post 50000 was made at 1:40 pm; my post 50002 was made at 2:27 pm; therefore, post 50001 had to be between those two times. Looking at our screen captures, I noticed that the number of topics went from 3119 to 3120; therefore, post 50001 had to be the first post in a new topic. Each topic displays its date and time of creation. This seems to be the only one that fits ...

[windshieldbug]

No falsehood is a lie.

[Todd S. Malicoate]

UPDATE:

Everything I say is a lie. Remember that...everything I say is a lie.

Now...

I am lying.

[The Jackson]

I asked my momma, "Momma, should I lie?"

and my momma replied, "Of course not, sonny. You should never, ever lie."


but that prompted me,

"Momma, how do I sleep, then?"

[NC_amateur_euph]

Three months after my mild (?!) stroke, the neurologist grudingly allowed as how I could begin playing my horn again - though it would increase my risk for another event.

Yeah, doctor, and driving on <you supply the street name> which is the only way to get to your office increases my risk of being t-boned by an uninsured crackhead. So should I take the risk or not?

I played long tones and a few scales last night. Only about 10 minutes worth of horn time but it sure felt good to be home.

Risk be damned! The following was stolen from a motorcycle forum but I think it has broad application:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and proclaiming WOW--What A Ride!!

[Rick Denney]

"Momma, how do I sleep, then?"

Excuse me, I'm going have to cite you for Posting In The Wrong Thread. This waste of electrons should have been posted in "Worst. Jokes. Ever."

This thread is for updates, such as "I just posted a really dumb joke in the thread, 'Worst. Jokes. Ever.'"

You have been updated.

Rick "sheesh" Denney