How not to answer interview questions

[MartyNeilan]

I posted the best of them, the entire list is at http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife ... index.html

Why are you leaving your current job?
"Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building." - Abbe Mortimore, Human Resources Manager, True Textiles, Inc.

Why are you looking for a job?
"Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job." - Pechstein

Is there anything else I should know about you?
"You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends." - Venne

"May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night." – Smith

Do you have any questions?
"What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it's raining? Can you pick me up?" - Christine Pechstein, career coach
"When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?" - Bolzan

[Uncle Buck]

Here's one I actually experienced about two weeks ago.

Person sends in a resume applying for job X. Person sends an email to the secretary of Y (the person who will hire, and supervise, job X), saying he has heard that job Y will be coming open soon, can we consider his resume also an application for job Y.

Applicant was an attorney, by the way.

[Rochester2013]

My son was naive enough to admit to WAL*MART that he was planning on returning to school this fall.

I did this as well when I got my job at a local Regal. They were fine with it. In fact, they have about 6 or 7 students that leave in August for school, work through December and January, and then resume work for the summer again in May.

The busiest time for companies like Wal-mart and the theater I work at seems to be the summer anyways, so they like to have seasonal help. A friend of mine who goes to school about 200 miles away works at a local Wal-mart during the summer. They seem to be great about giving her hours during her school vacations.

[pattonsj]

How I about the guy I had the other day. Mentioned drug test and he asked if he could take it next week. Told him, no you have to take it now. His response, "ok, but can I take it next week". After another no, "are you sure". NEXT!!!!

[The Big Ben]

My son was naive enough to admit to WAL*MART that he was planning on returning to school this fall.

I did this as well when I got my job at a local Regal. They were fine with it. In fact, they have about 6 or 7 students that leave in August for school, work through December and January, and then resume work for the summer again in May.

The busiest time for companies like Wal-mart and the theater I work at seems to be the summer anyways, so they like to have seasonal help. A friend of mine who goes to school about 200 miles away works at a local Wal-mart during the summer. They seem to be great about giving her hours during her school vacations.

WallyWorld might want to have extra trained help in the holiday shopping rush and that would fit right in with winter vacation.

Alos, being smart enough to actually get in a school would be a plus to an employer.