A man walks into a bar....

[Kory101]

He's an alcholoic. It's destorying his family.

[Bob Kolada]

He's an alcholoic. It's destorying his family.

The Queen's English?

[WakinAZ]

He's an alcholoic. It's destorying his family.

The Queen's English?

Ah, it's only TubNet...

Eric "enjoying a cold one, but sympathizing with those that cannot" L.

[iiipopes]

True story: my great-grandfather supposedly died falling off the wagon (literally) on the way home from the saloon. With modern medical knowledge of my genetic clotting condition we now know that instead of being drunk it was probably that a blood clot reached his heart and turned off his lights. He was probably dead before he hit the ground. In any event, now that we know, all the guys in my family are very careful in all aspects: diet, beverage consumption, avoidance of "high-impact" activities that could cause bruising and thus clotting, regular monitoring of blood thinner levels, etc.

I do miss the weekend bar gigs on electric bass. But, since cigarette smoke and cardiovascular conditions do not mix, the opening line of this thread does not apply to me as much now as it used to.

[TexTuba]

He's an alcholoic. It's destorying his family.

....and?

[tbn.al]

He's an alcholoic. It's destorying his family.

....and?

and..........the ending has been permanently destoryed..........

[Rev Rob]

Mr. Bloke, you are much too critical of Church women. Yes, you see them sober - but what you see is what you get. Can you say that after being in a bar, getting half lit and then sidling up to women and get a true evaluation of who or what she is?

[bort]

[is] getting half lit and then sidling up to women and get a true evaluation of who or what she is?

Only if she's half lit too!

[MartyNeilan]

Mr. Bloke, you are much too critical of Church women. Yes, you see them sober - but what you see is what you get. Can you say that after being in a bar, getting half lit and then sidling up to women and get a true evaluation of who or what she is?

small "b" bloke, please...and, fwiw, my FATHER was Mr. bloke.

I believe you miss my primary criticism of bars and Bar women.

FWIW, I started attending a 30's-40's singles Sunday School class at my church. Half the people in the class looked like Milton from Office Space.
And those were the women.

[Rev Rob]

bloke with a small "b" - women in bars are an iffy bet if you would want to find a woman to take home to introduce to Mom. But I do agree with your premise about scotch. Good scotch is too precious to be wasted in a smokey bar with loud and obnoxious people. Better to enjoy your favorite 18 year old single malt at home with your favorite friends listening to tuba music.

[bort]

bloke with a small "b" - women in bars are an iffy bet if you would want to find a woman to take home to introduce to Mom. But I do agree with your premise about scotch. Good scotch is too precious to be wasted in a smokey bar with loud and obnoxious people. Better to enjoy your favorite 18 year old single malt at home with your favorite friends listening to tuba music.

Ironically, an 18 year old scotch would have to wait another 3 years to legally drink itself.

Yuk yuk, slow morning...

[iiipopes]

When I played the bar gigs on a regular basis, and one of the guys would notice a patron, we would remind him of the Dr Pepper rule: a "10" at "2" would usually turn out to be a "2" at "10" the next morning, and then you would wonder what "4."

[Bob Kolada]

slow morning...

You waited until 10:09am to start drinking?!?!?

[bort]

slow morning...

You waited until 10:09am to start drinking?!?!?

Shoot, you got me.

[Homerun]

It seems this drinking website has a tuba problem.....sorry, I couldn't resist

[Sally Larsen]

I try to avoid walking into bars.
Fortunately I'm short enough to avoid most of them.

[Kevin Hendrick]

bloke with a small "b" - women in bars are an iffy bet if you would want to find a woman to take home to introduce to Mom. But I do agree with your premise about scotch. Good scotch is too precious to be wasted in a smokey bar with loud and obnoxious people. Better to enjoy your favorite 18 year old single malt at home with your favorite friends listening to tuba music.

Ironically, an 18 year old scotch would have to wait another 3 years to legally drink itself.

Yuk yuk, slow morning...

... from a Klein bottle, no doubt ...

[tubatooter1940]

A drunk staggers into a bar with vomit all down the front of his fine new suit. He asked the bartender for a shot of whisky.
The bartender refused to serve him. He said, "No sir, you're already drunk and you threw up all over yourself."
The drunk replied, "That's why I need a drink. My wife just bought me this new suit and I can't go home and face her without another stiff one. She's gonna kill me."
Bartender asked the drunk, "Do you have a $20 bill?"
The drunk said, "Sure, I have two twenties. And he held them out.
The bartender took a twenty and stuffed it in the drunk's top suit pocket and said, "Here, go home and tell your wife that you were walking past a bar and a drunk staggered out of the place, bumped into you and threw up all over your new suit. Say he felt so bad about it that he stuffed a twenty dollar bill in you pocket to cover the cleaning bill."
"Hey!", said the drunk, "She'll believe that. What a great idea! Thank you sir. I'm gonna take your good advice and I bid you a good night."
The drunk walked in the front door of his house and his wife took one look and cried, "Oh no, you got drunk and threw up on the new suit I bought you."
The man said, "Oh no baby. I was walking down the street and this drunk guy staggered out of this bar and threw up all over me. He felt bad about it and put this twenty dollar in my pocket to cover the cleaning bill."
"She replied, "You poor baby. You slip that suit off and relax and I'll get you a nice clean robe." Then she noticed that there were two twenties in the pocket. She asked, "What's the second twenty for?"
Her husband replied, "He crapped my pants,too."

[WakinAZ]

Laughed out loud at that one, thanks tubatooter...

[iiipopes]

Ka-boom, chissssss!