southern mores

[steve_decker]

I can hardly believe I'm getting sucked into another one of Bloke's southern superiority threads BUT, in reference to this...

Holding the door open for women-- A staple of the south lacking in other areas. In 2005, in Rockford, Illinois, I held the door open for a woman at a gas station. She just looked at me and said, "Why don't you just go back to the south where you belong." Definitely made me want to.

One of the things that my wife still finds astonishing after 4 years in North Georgia is her experience with holding the door open. Her nearly universal experience is a lack of this courtesy down here. Anytime we journey back towards home (Michigan), she notices the door being held for her (if me or my boys are not nearby) right around the time we hit Ohio.

Under the previously posted disclaimer, a few other observations...

1. I agree with Marty, you never wonder if a Yank has a problem with you; it will be obvious.

2. "Southern hospitality" is an oxymoron. Most true Southerners are very hospitable as long as you're visiting. If you plan on living here... completely different story.

3. Down here, I've never been asked "do you go to church?" it's always "where do you go to church?". That part is kind of nice, the scorn suffered when your chosen church has been deemed unacceptable by the individual asking the question is indescribable.

[djwesp]

she notices the door being held for her (if me or my boys are not nearby) right around the time we hit Ohio.

That's very unfortunate, steve. At least, hopefully, we all can agree that this is something that needs to be employed EVERYWHERE. I think it is a simple gesture with a lot of meaning. Plus, if your wife has your taste in guns, people need to be nice to her

1. I agree with Marty, you never wonder if a Yank has a problem with you; it will be obvious.

Eh, I dunno. I consider Nebraska, Minnesota, Iowa--- "Yanks". Seems to me they have the passive aggressive, "i'll be nice to you no matter what even if I secretly despise you" down pat. The southern way involves a lot of thinly veiled sarcasm in showing distaste for another. Not that that is any better or worse.

2. "Southern hospitality" is an oxymoron. Most true Southerners are very hospitable as long as you're visiting. If you plan on living here... completely different story.

Agreed. There is a sense of dislike for many of the retired Chicagoans, New Yorkers, ETC that seek out fishing areas/touristy/scenic view areas of the south. It is an odd love hate relationships that shouldn't really be there considering the livelyhood of many of these towns relies on the transplants and vacationers. My hometown, Hot Springs(AR), Gatlinburg(TN), Panhandle(FL), Gulf Shores(AL), and others are just a few examples.

3. Down here, I've never been asked "do you go to church?" it's always "where do you go to church?". That part is kind of nice, the scorn suffered when your chosen church has been deemed unacceptable by the individual asking the question is indescribable.

I can see that, too. There have been several times I've been asked what "flavor" Baptist I am.

[bort]

I had grits today for the first time in several years. Just can't find them around these parts too often. I want more!!

[djwesp]

Best grits I have ever eaten were in NYC.

Melba's Chicken and Waffles in harlem. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm.