Mid-Week Bad Humor

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:23 pm

Woemen,tubas,food-if you add beer to the list,I'd have to ask,what the hell else is there?

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:24 pm

Oh no.The cutworms are in the hollyhocks again.

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:27 pm

Do you know where to find a dog with no legs?

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> right where you left him

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:29 pm

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

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> A stick

budda-bump

jlbreyer · Post by **jlbreyer** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:46 pm

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall?
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Art

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 1:55 pm

TubaRay wrote: Besides I prefer talking thinking... about men.
Amy
I would consider that to be good news, Amy. I believe the male members of TubeNet will be quite willing to allow you to edit this to reflect your feelings. Please don't be offended that we tend to think of women as much as we do tubas.

I of course agree with Amy. It's part of the fun, though, on Tubenet, to watch all the girl watching. Since I've been in male-dominated jobs all my life (everything from motorcyle mechanic, RV mechanic, machinist, now engineer) I am incredibly accustomed to interacting mostly with men. It's just downright fun! Like....everybody knows some guy who signed up for Home Ec not because he wanted to learn to cook but because he knew the entire rest of the class would be women, right?
Smart fella.
If I played flute I'd have to hang out with the gals. BORING.

MA

MaryAnn · Post by **MaryAnn** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 2:00 pm

TubaTinker wrote: I think I remember Mary Ann trying to convince us she is a male

Still gotcha wonderin', too, huh?

MA

Matt G · Post by **Matt G** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 3:13 pm

jlbreyer wrote:What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall?
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Art

Guy in the ocean with no arms and no legs?

Bob.

Guy in front of the door with no arms and no legs?

Mat.

Woman with only one leg?

Ilene.

Chinese woman with only one leg?

Irene.

There are plenty others, but I can't remember them all.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:13 pm

MaryAnn wrote: Like....everybody knows some guy who signed up for Home Ec not because he wanted to learn to cook but because he knew the entire rest of the class would be women, right?
Smart fella.
MA

Actually, Mary Ann, I took a home ec class in college as one of my two electives. I was the only guy in the class. Wow! Believe it or not, I really didn't enjoy the class much. I made a "B." I would make B's on the class projects which required doing diagrams of kitchens, etc. I believe I made those grades because THEY LOOKED LIKE A GUY HAD DONE THEM(duh!)! Oh, well.

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:14 pm

Good run of jokes, Matt!

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:18 pm

TubaRay wrote:Good run of jokes, Matt!

I think that CC_tuba_guy would think so too.

TexTuba · Post by **TexTuba** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:36 pm

TubaRay · Post by **TubaRay** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:46 pm

TexTuba wrote:OK, this might top all for corny...

Who was the greatest tuba playing mummy of all time?

King Toot

Ralph

Yep!

Joe Baker · Post by **Joe Baker** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:07 pm

Okay, I got one. Who was Alexander Graham Tessarovicz?
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The first telephone Pole!
______________________________
Joe Baker, who used to work in a telecom company with a guy named Tessarovicz, .....

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:10 am

A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:14 am

How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to hold the bulb, one to hold the lamp, and three to drink until the room spins.

bort · Post by **bort** » Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:33 am

Did you guys hear about the pudding thief?

Don't worry... the police just took him into custardy.

yuk yuk

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:52 pm

What's the difference between a bowl of soup?
"Cause ice cream ain't got no bones.

The Jackson · Post by **The Jackson** » Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:07 am

bloke wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote:What's the difference between a bowl of soup?
"Cause ice cream ain't got no bones.
Were you awake when you typed this?

No soap radio!

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 11:40 pm

bloke wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote:What's the difference between a bowl of soup?
"Cause ice cream ain't got no bones.
Were you awake when you typed this?

Joe, the topic is bad humor. There were a series of nonsense jokes out a few years back.
Here's another:

What's the difference between a duck?

'Cause web feet don't go no fast.

I agree the material is weak but you ought to hear how much gusto there is in my delivery when I tell it.
toots

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