DEAR ELEPHANT: Lodge Your Random Complaints Here...

[tbn.al]

Baseball announcers can't properly pronounce even a simple four letter word like foul.
They seem to all pronounce it with two sylables i.e. fa-well instead of fal. Please fix this immediately for me as baseball season is soon upon us and I will be in a foul mood all summer.

[arminhachmer]

Dear Elephant:
Why is the word abbbbreviate so long? I need to know shortly.

[tubazach07]

Dear Elephant

After all these years why do sousaphones still play out of tune? andwhy does the military keep buying the sousaphones with the worst intonation?

[alfredr]

Dear Elephant, I don't like digital TV. Can we go back to the old system? I'm on my third converter box and way too often, the signal is bad enough that the viewing is interrupted to tell me that the signal is too bad to view the program. In the good old days, we just had a snowy picture and could still hear the program. Is this a plot to make me buy cable or satellite service? It won't work. I just go to sleep earlier. Maybe this is not such a bad thing after all?

Thanks, alfredr....(awake at the computer)

[LoyalTubist]

Dear Elephant:
Why is the word abreviate so long? I need to know shortly.

It's abbreviate. Two Bs.

[arminhachmer]

Oh wow. I abbreviated it. Hm..
So what is your answer to my question?
You just made it longer.
Please reply abbreviatedly and shortly.
So there.

[Rick F]

Yesterday I needed to gas up my car. The Mobile station price on the corner was $3.59 a gallon. Across the street was a HESS station selling the cheap stuff (did I say cheap stuff? ) for 2¢ less. I went to HESS. While filling up I washed the windshield. All of a sudden I smelled gas. Looked around and saw gas spewing out on the ground! The automatic shut-off in the handle was broken. I must have lost a gallon or more on the ground before I could turn it off. Sheesh!! So I spent about 4 bucks trying to save 30¢!

[LoyalTubist]

I hate abbreviations. That's why it's such a long word. I hate middle initials (my dad and I shared the same middle initial but not the same middle name, since there was no Sr. or Jr. it created all kinds of problems even after my dad died). I hate shorthand slang. I like contractions. Anyway, the reason why abbreviation is such a long word is because I hate abbreviations and this is be kind to Bill week. I'm back in U.S. territory for the first time in almost five years.

[tclements]

Dear Elephant:

Arrrrgh. I am DYING to play a one of the new Willson rotary F's, and there isn't one to be found for sale in the US. Also, what's up with the Meinl F that Wilfried Brandstoetter plays, and how come you can't get one in the US?!?

[MartyNeilan]

I HATE ALLERGIES!

[arminhachmer]

I hate abbreviations. That's why it's such a long word. I hate middle initials (my dad and I shared the same middle initial but not the same middle name, since there was no Sr. or Jr. it created all kinds of problems even after my dad died). I hate shorthand slang. I like contractions. Anyway, the reason why abbreviation is such a long word is because I hate abbreviations and this is be kind to Bill week. I'm back in U.S. territory for the first time in almost five years.

Hey Bill...my favourite abbreviations are the ones used by folks in the know.
I find myself wonering what in the world is meant by them.

[TMurphy]

Dear Elephant,

(re: Marty's post) why did Allegra go OTC??? Generic Allegra by prescription was great, because I could treat my allergies for $3 a month. Now it's gonna cost a whole lot more, and allergy season is approaching.