stage deportment

[Alex C]

Timely! How about a woman who wears a big red bow in her hair while everyone on stage is in formal black? I don't get how she could not see that the bow is inappropriate.

[sloan]

pet peeves:

*noodling on stage before/after
*cases, bags, backpacks, purses and other luggage on stage
*any dress/clothing/costume that calls attention to itself
****sub-category A: women who wear "fashion" (even if it's black) when the men
are identically dressed in tux/tails. Please - pick a hemline/neckline/fabric
and stick to it. Oh yes - 4+" heels...really?
****sub-category B: soloists/conductors who wear a "fashion" that is so weird that the audience
is still whispering about it in the second movement
*audience members who show up dressed 1 notch dressier or 3 notches less dressy than the performers
****shorts, flip-flops, and sleeveless T's for an evening event where the ensemble is wearing black tie?
*conductors who "conduct" the soloist's rubato passages, one beat behind, leaving the ensemble to find the entrances on its own.
*toss up - audiences who applaud between movements/conductors & players who exchange obvious shrugs and smiles as a commentary on the audience applauding between movements
*toss up - audiences who applaud 0.00001 second after the last note of the piece sounds (demonstrating their deep knowledge of the score and a profound ignorance of the music) / conductors who hold their pose and stand silent for 10 seconds at the end of a piece.
*F. The Princeton Band
*people who can't spell "Sloan"

[sloan]

Note that BumbleBee costumes are *always* appropriate.

[Alex C]

pet peeves:

*noodling on stage before/after

Good list, Sloane, but you're going to have to explain the Princeton Band. Note: I am not nor have I ever been a Princeton Band member and I do not play one on TV.

One of my pet peeves is playing licks on stage. One of the most revered horn players in the US drove his colleagues mad by playing the licks in the dressing room, on the stage and after the performance.

I think it tells the audience that you either need the practice or don't know the part. Personally, I feel like if I don't have the part by the time the concert starts, 2 or 3 extra shots at it won't make it better.

[Homerun]

Sorry, but I've got to have my water with me when I play. I don't keep it in a giant, neon green bottle though. But ditto to everything else.

[Brown Mule]

I suggest performers or "budding performers" watch several service band concerts and observe their behavior, dress, and even facial deportment. Those not actively performing do nothing to detract from the active musical exercises going on. Those that are performing put the emphasis exclusively on the music and the instrument. NO RED BOWS IN THOSE BANDS

[Rick Denney]

Good list, Sloane, but you're going to have to explain the Princeton Band.

Dr. Slown
attended Brown

Rick "yes, it rhymes" Denney

[dvtuba]

Sloan! Great list! And Bloke, that's hilarious. I, too, have gone through a similar scenario.

HOWEVER...

I attended a "Top 5" orchestra a few years back and the Principal Trombone was on stage a FULL 20 MINUTES before the concert started, whizzing up and down all sorts of scales and arpeggios...at a full volume. And. It. Was. GLORIOUS! I turned to my buddy and, wiping the saliva from our mouths, we joked that WHO CARED about the concert anymore!

To add to it all, about 5 minutes before that same show started, the Tubist walked out and blew through a Rochut etude at a nearly unnoticeable volume due to the rest of the orchestra warming-up.

And then they played Mahler 6.

It was a great night.

[Rick Denney]

The tuba player's role is to be heard and not seen.

Rick "Cue the tuba picture from Les Brass" Denney

[dvtuba]

According to one old teacher I had, the tuba "is to be felt, not necessarily heard."

Wisdom or Bull-plop. I'm still not sure.

[b.williams]

What's wrong with 4+" heels?

[b.williams]

What's wrong with 4" heels?

[dxnmrl]

if you can't hear the jug in a jug band, you should likely get your money back.

[Teubonium]

Good list Slone! But you left out my biggest pet peeve:

FOOT TAPPING

[bort]

One that I've seen more and more...

Percussionists dropping stuff.

I recognize that there's a lot going on back there... but come on...

[sloan]

One that I've seen more and more...

Percussionists dropping stuff.

I recognize that there's a lot going on back there... but come on...

I sense an opportunity here for the über-modern composer: Concerto for Clumsy Percussion.

[Mark]

Percussionists dropping stuff.

And trumpet players kicking their mutes.

[Bob Kolada]

My biggest peeve? Elitist bitching on the internet about trivial (for the most part) stuff.

[tofu]

not to mention "above the fray" elitist bitching about elitist bitching.

Oh Joe - what would TubeNet do without you keeping us all grounded!

[Bob Kolada]

Which makes your comment...? Then again obvious comebacks are always a sign of the highest intelligence!


You've all seen my horns, do you really think anything else in my life categorizes as elitist?