This evening I was booked to play Brahms Academic Festival Overture and Dvorak 6 with an orchestra I had not played previously. I had in my diary the concert being 7:30pm and arrived at venue, a church at 7:05pm to be amazed to hear music. When I went in the door they were already playing AFO and to my horror I realised they had started at 7pm. I scanned the scene and thought maybe I could get in down the side in time to play the grand finale. I made my way down to the nave trying not to attract the audience and got out my tuba. But problem, the door way through to stage was only 12 inches wide. I tried but no way was I going to get my PT15 F through there. Then I noticed the window beside was slightly wider, may 14 inches. By wriggling the tuba sideways I managed to get the 16.5 inch bell through, but I needed someone to take tuba the other side. I beckoned to the nearest member of the choir there for the following choral work and she kindly took my tuba while I slipped through the narrow door to sit down with just 5 bars before my grand entry.
It must have been hilarious to the audience seeing this tuba wriggling through window onto the stage midway through piece - and this from someone who normally does not even put his tuba down during performance to distract from the music.
In the interval I apologised to the conductor who said he realised what had happened kindly adding "it made us appreciate your superb tuba even more when you eventually came in".
The treasurer paying my fee joked that they should dock money as I had not played the whole concert.
Dvorak 6 in the second half I played complete and without incident, getting a thumb up from the jovial conductor for the tuba solo in the last movement.
And when I checked my emails, it was not my fault, I was told the concert started at 7:30pm!
A friend afterwards took pictures of the tuba and small opening in reconstruction. I will post once I receive.
PS Lucky I had not taken the Neptune
- Yes, the ladies love them - real chick magnets 