Your Daily Paraprosdokian

by **SplatterTone** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:14 am

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Mark Twain: A man carrying a cat by the tail will learn something that can be learned in no other way.

by **Doc** » Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:21 am

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

by **Doc** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:35 am

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

by **Teubonium** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:13 pm

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

by **Teubonium** » Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:15 pm

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

by **Doc** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:28 am

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

by **Doc** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:33 pm

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

by **Donn** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:42 am

Know how to make a dead cat float?

Try root beer, two scoops of dead cat.

by **bloke** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:59 am

When in Rome, don't forget to keep some change handy to tip the old fat lady sitting outside the men's room.

by **Teubonium** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:52 pm

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

by **Teubonium** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:53 pm

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.

by **bloke** » Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:28 pm

Practice makes a pool of spit.