Lew wrote:I don't expect her to do anything and she doesn't expect me to, but things that need to get done get done.
That says it better than I did, and agrees with what others have said. But it assumes that people are basically responsible, and I know that not all people are.
So, pick your spouse well. The ones who are accustomed to doing what needs to be done without being told or forced will continue to be that way.
One thing I know for sure: When the word "me" becomes more important than any other word, there will be problems. The doomed relationships are the ones characterized by worrying about whether we are getting what we want out of it. The best relationships seem to be more focused on providing what the other person needs, and if both do it, both end up getting more than they would ever get by making demands. That, to me, is the biblical formula. It requires submission by the husband to the needs of the wife (as Christ was submissive to the needs of people), and submission by the wife to the needs of the husband. People who are that way seem to be secure in themselves, centered, and self-sufficient. Amazing how that turns out.
And to balance the one-sided notion that the Bible says the wife should be slave-like, I keep Proverbs 31:10-31 in mind. In that passage, the "worthy woman" is described as being quite self-sufficient, a business owner and a land owner. It says to give her the product of her hands (i.e., what she has earned--there's your Biblical basis for equal-pay-for-equal-work). She takes what she earns through business dealings and invests them in other business dealings for the good of the household. She doesn't just do housework, she runs the household. That's a lot more partner-like than most people's perceptions of what the Bible says about women. All the other passages about submission need to be balanced against how that submission is manifested in action, which is what this passage shows. And we should remember that whatever submission the wife shows to the husband, he is expected to show to God. So it's no fair demanding that the wife be submissive when the husband is a selfish tyrant.
Of course, that passage also says that a worthy woman fears (respects) God. Selfishness is destructive in either sex.
Rick "blessed to be with a worthy woman" Denney
Perhaps I did get more time than I think.
