I just stumbled across a couple of exerpts on a website and thought many of you would get a good snicker out of it. It is from a book titled
"In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash" by Jean Shepherd. Jean Shepherd's novel about growing up in 1930's Indiana was the basis for the popular 1983 movie, A Christmas Story.
"There are many misconceptions which at the outset must be cleared up before we proceed much further. Great confusion exists among the unwashed as to just what a sousaphone is. Few things are more continually irritating to a genuine sousaphone man than to have his instrument constantly called a "tuba". A tuba is a weak, puny thing fit only for mewling, puking babes and Guy Lombardo --the better to harass balding, middle-aged dancers. An upright instrument of startling ugliness and mooing, flatulent tone, the tuba has none of the grandeur, the scope or sweep of its massive, gentle, distant relation."
And this one brought a smile to my face as well.
"A sousaphone is a worthy adversary which must be watched like a hawk and truly mastered 'ere it master you. Dangerous, unpredictable, difficult to play, yet it offers rich rewards. Each sousaphone individually, since it is such a massive creation, assumes a character of its own. There are bad-tempered instruments and there are friendly sousaphones; sousaphones that literally lead their players back and forth through beautiful countermarches on countless football fields. Then there are the treacherous, which buck and fight and must be held in tight rein 'ere disaster strike. Like horses or women, no two sousaphones are alike."
http://www.bandparenting.net/books.html - website source for above.