Euphonium Jokes

j1007hc · Post by **j1007hc** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:05 am

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the sound of the euphonium; I admire many euphonium players, and some of the best musicians I know are euphonium players.

That being said, I heard a father make a comment regarding his family: "If you can't be mocked, you can't be a part of this family."

So here we go:

"Did that euphonium come with a baton?"

How do you get a euphonium player to play FF?
Write "pp espressivo" on their part.

Why don't euphonium players play hide and seek?
No one would bother looking for them.

Please add your favorites!

k001k47 · Post by **k001k47** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:34 am

What did the euphonium say to the tuba?

Nothing. Euphoniums are inanimate objects and can not speak.

imperialbari · Post by **imperialbari** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:21 am

Root level talk in the low brass section:

Me Tuba, you Phonium!

Rick F · Post by **Rick F** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:31 am

djwpe wrote:What's the definition of "optimist"?

A euphonium player with a business card.

Hmm... seems this one has been modified. Used to be "a euphonium player with a 'pager'".
____________

What does a professional euphonium player (who doesn't play in a military band) say when he gets to his main gig?

Would you like fries with that?

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:56 am

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead euphonium player?

The snake was on his way to a gig.

Highpitch · Post by **Highpitch** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:47 pm

A euphonium is a baritone you spent a lot of money for...

DG

Conn 2J CC · Post by **Conn 2J CC** » Fri Aug 23, 2013 12:58 pm

Euphonium - a public pay phone booth in ancient Rome. (Alright, alright. Stop groaning.)

Worth · Post by **Worth** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:37 am

OK I'll try.....

What happened when 1/2 of the n ran out on the euphonium? Something was created capable of generating intense pleasure! Get it?

thattubaguy · Post by **thattubaguy** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:48 am

(Local news story)
Man brings euphonium to an orchestra performance of pictures at an exhibition to play bydlo. The next day he was found unconscious in the park band shell.The end.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:23 am

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.

Worth · Post by **Worth** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:06 pm

You know a Euphorium is sort of like the old Orgasmatron from Woody Allen's Sleeper!

Bombardonier · Post by **Bombardonier** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:11 pm

Whew...good thing I play baritone saxhorn... : )

sugawi · Post by **sugawi** » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:54 pm

windshieldbug wrote:Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.

Modified:

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back he finds euphonium on the curb and his car gone.

caa62 · Post by **caa62** » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:50 pm

What's the difference between a euphonium player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

(Recycled, I'm sure, but that's the way it was told to me.)

GC · Post by GC » Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:14 pm

What do you call a euphonium in the South? A euallphonium.

MSchott · Post by **MSchott** » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:52 pm

sugawi wrote:
windshieldbug wrote:Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back to his car (you guessed it) his car is filled with euphoniums.
Modified:

Guy drives to New York and leaves his car unlocked with his euphonium in the back seat.
When he comes back he finds euphonium on the curb and his car gone.

Best one yet!

sugawi · Post by **sugawi** » Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:02 am

bloke wrote:A euphonium quartet was hired by a Catholic church to play an Oktoberfest gig.

They had some cute arrangements, and at at the end while they were packing up the rector came up to them told them what a great job they had done, and assured them that they would be hired back the following year.

The leader of the group responded, "Wow. That's great! ...May we leave our instruments here?"

And they left their instruments there...

Kevin Hendrick · Post by **Kevin Hendrick** » Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:07 pm

sugawi wrote:
bloke wrote:A euphonium quartet was hired by a Catholic church to play an Oktoberfest gig.

They had some cute arrangements, and at at the end while they were packing up the rector came up to them told them what a great job they had done, and assured them that they would be hired back the following year.

The leader of the group responded, "Wow. That's great! ...May we leave our instruments here?"
And they left their instruments there...

"We aim to please -- you aim, too, please!

ppalan · Post by **ppalan** » Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:54 pm

Interesting idea......standing bidet?

euphomate · Post by **euphomate** » Tue Aug 27, 2013 7:09 pm

While warming up my euphonium before band rehearsal started, I said to the ensemble's baritone sax player "You call that thing a saxophone?" He replied "You call that thing a tuba?" Well anyway, I thought it was funny. Certainly shut me up.

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