best quote EVER from "The Simpsons"...??

[Captain Sousie]

The answer is always 'C'

[Tubaryan12]

Montgomery Burns "release the hounds" after the company picnic

[tubaman5150]

Montgomery Burns "release the hounds" after the company picnic

And also.....
Mr. Burns: "Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons."

[TMurphy]

Creepy Guy in Store: Take this object, but beware, it carries a terrible curse.

Homer: Ooh...that's bad.

CG: But it comes with a free frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt!

Homer: That's good!

CG: The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

CG: But you get your choice of topping!

Homer: That's good!

CG: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.

Homer: .....

CG: That's bad.

Homer: Can I go now?

[Tubaryan12]

"Here's to beer...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

I want to change my vote to that

[Mark]

...

The only reason I read this thread was because bloke started it. I suspect that bloke and I agree on 94% of things political and social. But, I am truly disappointed to learn that bloke watches The Simpsons.

[Joe Baker]

Mark, say it ain't so!!! Have you ever actually watched even one episode?!?! It's not for the little tykes, but for everyone else in the world it's the most creative show in the last 20 years -- and with some of the best music, to boot!

And contrary to the bad press a lot of well-intentioned little old ladies got the show, in the end the Simpsons always look out for one another. Once kids are old enough to understand satire, there're very few shows I'd rather have them watching.

_______________________

My kids' and my favorites:

Bart (while Homer is sobbing in bed next to him): "Time to supress another memory... I....AM....AT....DISNEYWORLD........I...AM..."

or

Bart falls
Nelson: HA ha!
Milhouse: No, I think he's really hurt!
Nelson: I SAID ha HA...

or

Homer and Marge have rekindled their romance by 'canoodling' in places where they might be caught -- one of which is inside the windmill at the mini-golf place.
Homer: Who's interested in a little 'miniature golf'?.
Cutaway to the car racing out of the driveway, with Bart and Lisa left standing on the sidewalk.
Bart: "They are gonna feel SO SILLY when they realize they forgot us."

or

The Robert Schuler type in the same episode: Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon His wonderous creation.
[Just then, the balloon, hanging from which is a very nude Homer with Marge onboard, floats just above the building, dragging Homer across the roof. His skin squeals as his rear slides up the glass.]
Now quickly! Gaze down at God's fabulous parquet floor. [Homer continues to slide across the roof very slowly.] Eyes on the floor... still on the floor... always on God's floor.
______________________________
Joe Baker, who plays an annual Christmas gig at the Knoxville Museum of Art, just outside the "wig outlet" that Nelson knocked over with the rent car.

[TMurphy]

The true genius and brilliance of The Simpsons is that, truly, there is something in there for everyone. There are jokes that absolutely anyone can laugh at, despite their intelligence or knowledge of world events. And there are jokes that you can only get if you have some sense of what is going on in the world. And, there are still some jokes you won't get, unless you've seen other episodes of the show. It's amazing how well written the show has been, and continues to be, after 16 years.

[Dylan King]

Did anyone see the Simpson's where Homer produced the Superbowl halftime show? It was the worst episode I have ever seen of the cartoon. There was barely any underscore for the episode, with only a few cues from the Simpsons library. I wonder what happened with Alf Clausen? I never thought I'd see a Simpsons with no music, but that was the one.

I remember when the Simpsons were only a few cartoon snippets on the Tracy Ulmen Show. My mother, new to Hollywood at the time, was instrumental in bringing the cartoon to the air as its own show. We were just talking about that the other day. She still has her Simpsons on Tracy Ulmen letterman's jacket that was given to her by Matt Groening. Sometimes I forget just what a cool chick she is. For a mom.

[TubaRay]

[Hey!It's Doc's responsibility to turn threads towards food!

Well, Doc has not been living up to his responsibility over the past few days. What's the deal?!

[TubaRay]

[Hey!It's Doc's responsibility to turn threads towards food!

Well, Doc has not been living up to his responsibility over the past few days. What's the deal?!

Sorry,
It's crunch time at work. DARE graduations. SOB! No time.

I guess we can cut you some slack THIS TIME.

[Louis]

At some sort of charity tennis tournament, Krusty the Clown opens things up with a joke that the crowd groans at. Krusty reacts: “Well, what do you want? I'm not going to do 'A' material for charity.â€

[Will]

"She won't even let me clap her erasers." -Principle Skinner

[Leland]

Last night's episode, after Sideshow Bob foiled his brother's plan to blow up the Springfield Dam, Bob says, "You have brought disgrace to this family."

This coming from a man with yard-long feet, crazy hair, and an obsession with killing Bart.

[Joe Baker]

Ooh, I just remembered one of the GREAT ones!! They're vacationing in Florida, and Homer goes to a convenience store to buy illegal fireworks, which the clerk keeps in the back room -- but he asks for some other random stuff to keep from looking suspicious:
"Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas... eh, make it two."
Later, Marge looks into the bag and says:
"I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out."

Now THAT's funny!!
____________________________
Joe Baker, who can't believe he forgot that one earlier!

[TMurphy]

Burns: Get me Steven Spielberg!!!

Smithers: I'm afraid he's unavailable, sir.

Burns: Then get me his cheap, non-union Mexican equivelant!!!

::later::

Burns: Listen, Senor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Speilberg did for Schindler. We're like two peas in a pod. We both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!!!

Speilbergo: Ah....Schindler es bueno....Senor Burns...es el Diablo....

[Leland]

Richard Gere in the Buddhist temple, talking to Lenny (who doesn't seem to know who Buddha is!) --

"It's a good thing that Buddhism teaches freedom from desire, because I've got a desire to kick your a$$!"

[tjonp]

Ralph: "My cat's breath smells like cat food"

[daktx2]

pi is exactly 3

[tjonp]

pi is exactly 3

I thought it was...