your favorite meaningless tuba-playing-related platitude?

[Dylan King]

"Tuba or not tuba?"

[Tom]

And he's got more trumpets than tubas! The horror...

[humBell]

"Louder isn't necessarily better"

[windshieldbug]

You fix a tuba with a tuba glue...

[b.williams]

Wow, that didn't suck.

[MaryAnn]

Ha. I remember the whole 13 thing but not what 13 IS.

[SousaWarrior9]

"Louder isn't necessarily better"

not only "meaningless", but a d@mn lie

Here's a few:

"Air is free. Take as much as you need"

"To play the tuba, you have to be old enough to carry it, but young enough to want to."

On describing our sousaphone section:
"I think thre rest of the band views the sousas like zoo animals: fun and amusing to view from a distance, but no one wants to be that close to us because we're loud, smelly, and potentially dangerous."

My personal favorite:
"The euphonium is just like the tuba, but one octave less fun."

[The Brute Squad]

but one octave less fun

I see no lie there

[iiipopes]

Big air.

[Ace]

This tuba is used and has dings and dents. These are purely cosmetic.

Ace

[Three Valves]

I eschew platitudes, bromides and the cliche.

[GC]

That would sound better down an octave. Or two.

[oedipoes]

"Let's do this again from bar 132, you may take that down one octave to save your chops"
...

"Not the tubas !"

[humBell]

"There are no small parts."

[windshieldbug]

Try an alternate fingering

[SousaWarrior9]

I'm selling this fantastic example of "name brand" tuba, hand-picked from a batch of 10 that has outstanding point-and-shoot intonation and can hold it's own from solo to quintet, traditional jazz band, wind ensemble, and orchestra. It slots incredibly well and has an amazing core. The reason I am selling is because my playing needs have changed/my teacher told me to get a 6/4 CC lap sousaphone if I want to be a professional.

Is that too long to be a platitude?

It has dents, but they don't affect the sound.

[Worth]

I’m so over trumpet players complaining about their chops. Sorry not a platitude just venting

[GC]

My teacher said I gotta switch to CC if I want to be a pro.

[jperry1466]

An aggravating statement from my high school days by a mediocre band director starting the rehearsal of an honors group with tuning, starting with the tubas:

"That's close enough for B-29s."

Double aggravation for me because it was an insult to the ability of the tuba section, plus my dad was a waist-gunner on a B-29 in the Pacific. He was also trained to be an engine troubleshooter which meant he had to listen to the engines for changes in sounds indicating a problem in mid-flight. He could, in fact, tell if the B-29 was out of tune.

[DiveBomber]

"Low brass, I would very much like some steak with my sizzle!"

or

"Give me some izzle to that sizzle!"