Yo' momma's so fat...

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:36 am

Yo momma's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:36 am

Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:37 am

Yo momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:38 am

Yo momma's so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:39 am

Back to topic...

Your momma's so fat, she's half Irish, half Italian, and half American.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:40 am

Your momma's so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made skittles.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:42 am

Bloke's so fat he whistles bass.....oops, wrong lead in.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:43 am

your momma has a major weight problem - she can't wait...to eat.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:46 am

Your momma is so fat she put on a pair of Guess Jeans and the answer popped out.

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:47 am

Your momma's so fat she can't even fit in the chat room.

which could explain the lack of protest over this thread!

I'd better quit before I cross 500 posts on this alone.

THE TUBA · Post by **THE TUBA** » Tue May 30, 2006 12:03 pm

If yo' momma were a tuba, she'd be a 600/4.

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses a Yorkbrunner as a coffee mug

Yo momma so fat, she ate the York #3

Yo momma so fat, she uses the sheet music to Mahler symphonies as napkins

Yo momma so fat, the only way to catch her is to use the internet

Yo momma sat on the stock market in 1939

tubatooter1940 · Post by **tubatooter1940** » Tue May 30, 2006 9:03 pm

Hoagy Carmichael recorded a great tune titled, "Lovin' and a-Chalkin'"
about a guy married to a fat girl who did not have time to love all of her every time and regretted neglecting any part of her. So he left a chalk mark where he left off and could begin loving at that exact spot next time.
He was lovin' and a chalkin' and having a great time until he met another guy, also lovin' and-chalkin' coming around from the other side.

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Tue May 30, 2006 10:55 pm

Yo mama's so fat, that she makes Brassdad's entries in this thread look like a spaghetti without any sauce

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Wed May 31, 2006 5:34 am

Yo mommas' so fat, her blood type is GRAVY.

Tim · Post by **Tim** » Wed May 31, 2006 8:04 am

Your mamma has so many fat rolls, she has to screw on her pants.

Dan Schultz · Post by **Dan Schultz** » Wed May 31, 2006 11:10 am

Your mama is so fat, when she and your father make love, he has to roll her in flour to find the wet spot!

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed May 31, 2006 11:44 am

Yo mama so fat, she can be arrested if she even buys "low-fat" food

Brassdad · Post by **Brassdad** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:22 pm

tubatooter1940 wrote:Hoagy Carmichael recorded a great tune titled, "Lovin' and a-Chalkin'"
about a guy married to a fat girl who did not have time to love all of her every time and regretted neglecting any part of her. So he left a chalk mark where he left off and could begin loving at that exact spot next time.
He was lovin' and a chalkin' and having a great time until he met another guy, also lovin' and-chalkin' coming around from the other side.

Huggin' and Chalkin'
(Clancy Hayes & Kermit Goell 1946)

I gotta gal that's mighty sweet,
With big blue eyes and tiny feet.
Her name is Rosabelle Magee,
And she tips the scale at three-o-three,
Oh!
Gee but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat
That when you go to hug 'er
You don't know where you're at, you
Have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began.
One day -
I was a huggin' and a chalkin'
And a chalkin' and a huggin' away
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
Comin' around the other way 'round the mountain,
Comin' around the other way.

Nobody ever said I'm weak,
My bones don't ache and my joints don't creak.
But I grow absolutely limp,
Ev'ry time I kiss my baby blimp,
Oh!
Gee but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat
That when you go to hug 'er
You don't know where you're at, you
Have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began.

One day -
I had a yen for someone leaner,
She was meaner than a mink in a pen.
So I left her, now I'm happy as a fella could be
Huggin' and chalkin' once again 'round my Rosie,
Huggin' and chalkin' once again.

Oh!
Gee but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat
That when you go to hug 'er
You don't know where you're at, you
Have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began.
One day -
I was a huggin' and a chalkin'
And a beggin' her to be my bride
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
Comin' around the other side 'round the mountain,
Comin' around the other side.

I love the refrain!

windshieldbug · Post by **windshieldbug** » Wed May 31, 2006 12:54 pm

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps!

Captain Sousie · Post by **Captain Sousie** » Wed May 31, 2006 4:38 pm

Yo mama so stupid she alphabetizes her m&ms

TubeNet

Yo' momma's so fat...

Mothers with a particularly obscene girth