One Liners

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Be kind. No government, state, or local politics allowed. Admin has final decision for any/all removed posts.
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windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11513
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --General Norman Schwartzkopf
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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MartyNeilan
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 4876
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 3:06 am
Location: Practicing counting rests.

Post by MartyNeilan »

Just thought of a new one:
"I used to work for a furniture company, but I got fired for dropping my drawers."
Adjunct Instructor, Trevecca Nazarene University
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

A panhandler walked up to a jewish mother and said to her, "Lady, I haven't eaten for two days."
She replied, "Force yourself."
We pronounce it Guf Coast
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

A padhandler walked up to a jewish mother and said, "Lady, I haven't had a bite for two days."
She bit him.
We pronounce it Guf Coast
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iiipopes
Utility Infielder
Utility Infielder
Posts: 8577
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:10 am

Post by iiipopes »

What are the last words of a redneck?
"Hey, y'all -- watch this!"
Jupiter JTU1110 Giddings Taku (2nd Generation)
"Real" Conn 36K (K&G 3F)
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windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11513
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

iiipopes wrote:What are the last words of a redneck?
"Hey, y'all -- watch this!"
You forgot the "Here- hold my beer" part...
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
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iiipopes
Utility Infielder
Utility Infielder
Posts: 8577
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:10 am

Post by iiipopes »

windshieldbug wrote:
iiipopes wrote:What are the last words of a redneck?
"Hey, y'all -- watch this!"
You forgot the "Here- hold my beer" part...
That would be a redneck's next-to-last words!
Jupiter JTU1110 Giddings Taku (2nd Generation)
"Real" Conn 36K (K&G 3F)
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

Hey, I resemble those remarks! :oops:
We pronounce it Guf Coast
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