Finish the Limericks

Be kind. No government, state, or local politics allowed. Admin has final decision for any/all removed posts.
Forum rules
Be kind. No government, state, or local politics allowed. Admin has final decision for any/all removed posts.
Locked
User avatar
iiipopes
Utility Infielder
Utility Infielder
Posts: 8578
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:10 am

Post by iiipopes »

:mrgreen: :tuba:
Jupiter JTU1110 Giddings Taku (2nd Generation)
"Real" Conn 36K (K&G 3F)
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

the elephant wrote:My horn sports a large TubeNet thong,
my long tones it does thus prolong
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
User avatar
Kevin Hendrick
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 3156
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 pm
Location: Location: Location

Post by Kevin Hendrick »

the elephant wrote:
the elephant wrote:My horn sports a large TubeNet thong,
windshieldbug wrote:my long tones it does thus prolong
Scooby Tuba wrote:When the spit valve I dump
Makes the little girls jump,
And the older ones burst into song! :D
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." -- Pogo (via Walt Kelly)
User avatar
iiipopes
Utility Infielder
Utility Infielder
Posts: 8578
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:10 am

Post by iiipopes »

HA! That last one reminds me of the George Thorogood song, Bad to the Bone.
Jupiter JTU1110 Giddings Taku (2nd Generation)
"Real" Conn 36K (K&G 3F)
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

"Ba-ba-ba-ba-bad,
Bad to the bone!"

:lol:
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
User avatar
Mojo workin'
4 valves
4 valves
Posts: 784
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:44 pm
Location: made of teflon, behind the bull's eye

Post by Mojo workin' »

A tubist was having a vasectomy....
User avatar
Kevin Hendrick
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 3156
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 pm
Location: Location: Location

Post by Kevin Hendrick »

Scooby Tuba wrote:
duckskiff wrote:
Mojo workin' wrote:A tubist was having a vasectomy....
But mistakenly had an appendicectomy...
His wife was surprised
But soon realised
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." -- Pogo (via Walt Kelly)
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

Kevin Hendrick wrote:
Scooby Tuba wrote:
duckskiff wrote: But mistakenly had an appendicectomy...
His wife was surprised
But soon realised
It was really just a reflex to me!
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
User avatar
Mojo workin'
4 valves
4 valves
Posts: 784
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:44 pm
Location: made of teflon, behind the bull's eye

Post by Mojo workin' »

Can't help it, I love this thread.

Passing out at a hasidic's barmitzvah.....
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

He said, "You're not Jewish".
We pronounce it Guf Coast
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

tubatooter1940 wrote:
Scooby Tuba wrote:
Mojo workin' wrote:Passing out at a hasidic's barmitzvah.....
I was rudely awakened by Schmitz's pa.
He said, "You're not Jewish".
In his very best Yiddish
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
User avatar
iiipopes
Utility Infielder
Utility Infielder
Posts: 8578
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:10 am

Post by iiipopes »

windshieldbug wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote:
Scooby Tuba wrote: I was rudely awakened by Schmitz's pa.
He said, "You're not Jewish".
In his very best Yiddish
But still handed me another Schlitz draw.
Jupiter JTU1110 Giddings Taku (2nd Generation)
"Real" Conn 36K (K&G 3F)
User avatar
ken k
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2370
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2004 11:02 pm
Location: out standing in my field....

Post by ken k »

iiipopes wrote:
windshieldbug wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote: He said, "You're not Jewish".
In his very best Yiddish
But still handed me another Schlitz draw.
Schlitz???? wow that takes me back.....

Is that Kosha????
B&H imperial E flat tuba
Mirafone 187 BBb
1919 Pan American BBb Helicon
1924 Buescher BBb tuba (Dr. Suessaphone)
2009 Mazda Miata
1996 Honda Pacific Coast PC800
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

There was once a young tubist named Marty.
We pronounce it Guf Coast
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

tubatooter1940 wrote:There was once a young tubist named Marty.
Whose playing was considered quite arty
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
User avatar
Tubaryan12
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2101
Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2004 7:49 am

Post by Tubaryan12 »

windshieldbug wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote:There was once a young tubist named Marty.
Whose playing was considered quite arty
But some critics would say
Marzan BBb
John Packer JP-274 euphonium
King 607F
Posting and You
User avatar
Mojo workin'
4 valves
4 valves
Posts: 784
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 1:44 pm
Location: made of teflon, behind the bull's eye

Post by Mojo workin' »

"Though he woodsheds all day,"
User avatar
windshieldbug
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Once got the "hand" as a cue
Posts: 11515
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
Location: 8vb

Post by windshieldbug »

the elephant wrote:Yeah, you all saw that one coming, didn't you? I sure did!
... and here I was thinking:

No one asks him to play at a party! :cry:
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
MikeMason
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2102
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 1:03 am
Location: montgomery/gulf shores, Alabama
Contact:

Post by MikeMason »

I think he and his wife already party plenty :twisted:
Pensacola Symphony
Troy University-adjunct tuba instructor
Yamaha yfb621 with 16’’ bell,with blokepiece symphony
Eastman 6/4 with blokepiece symphony/profundo
tubatooter1940
6 valves
6 valves
Posts: 2530
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 11:09 pm
Location: alabama gulf coast

Post by tubatooter1940 »

the elephant wrote:
tubatooter1940 wrote:There was once a young tubist named Marty.
windshieldbug wrote:Whose playing was considered quite arty
Tubaryan12 wrote:But some critics would say
Mojo workin' wrote:"Though he woodsheds all day,"
"He makes sounds that are sometimes quite farty."

:P





Yeah, you all saw that one coming, didn't you? I sure did!

:twisted:
There was an opening you could drive a truck through. :D

How about:
"When Yuba played his tuba in Arruba,"
We pronounce it Guf Coast
Locked