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Be kind. No government, state, or local politics allowed. Admin has final decision for any/all removed posts.
Be kind. No government, state, or local politics allowed. Admin has final decision for any/all removed posts.
- Dylan King
- YouTube Tubist
- Posts: 1602
- Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2004 1:56 am
- Location: Weddington, NC, USA.
- Contact:
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- 5 valves
- Posts: 1811
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 8:33 pm
- Location: Las Vegas, NV
- CJ Krause
- 4 valves
- Posts: 899
- Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2004 1:39 am
- Location: NW Dallas
- Contact:
- Captain Sousie
- 4 valves
- Posts: 734
- Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 4:17 pm
- Location: Section 5
- Dan Schultz
- TubaTinker
- Posts: 10424
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 10:46 pm
- Location: Newburgh, Indiana
- Contact:
Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an engine failure. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"
Dan Schultz
"The Village Tinker"
http://www.thevillagetinker.com" target="_blank
Current 'stable'... Rudolf Meinl 5/4, Marzan (by Willson) euph, King 2341, Alphorn, and other strange stuff.
"The Village Tinker"
http://www.thevillagetinker.com" target="_blank
Current 'stable'... Rudolf Meinl 5/4, Marzan (by Willson) euph, King 2341, Alphorn, and other strange stuff.
- Dan Schultz
- TubaTinker
- Posts: 10424
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 10:46 pm
- Location: Newburgh, Indiana
- Contact:
SaturdayTUBACHRIS85 wrote:Thats a good one, and one I get now.
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By the way, what time would it be in Australia right now?
Im just curious
-tubachris


Dan Schultz
"The Village Tinker"
http://www.thevillagetinker.com" target="_blank
Current 'stable'... Rudolf Meinl 5/4, Marzan (by Willson) euph, King 2341, Alphorn, and other strange stuff.
"The Village Tinker"
http://www.thevillagetinker.com" target="_blank
Current 'stable'... Rudolf Meinl 5/4, Marzan (by Willson) euph, King 2341, Alphorn, and other strange stuff.
- Kevin Hendrick
- 6 valves
- Posts: 3156
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 pm
- Location: Location: Location
Duck and cover ...
AFLAC!!!bloke wrote:This lady walks into the bedroom carrying a duck.
Her husband is in bed.
"This is the pig I've been having sex with."
The husband says- "That's a DUCK!"
I was talking to the duck, she replied.

"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." -- Pogo (via Walt Kelly)
- windshieldbug
- Once got the "hand" as a cue
- Posts: 11513
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:41 pm
- Location: 8vb
What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead oboe player in the road?
Give up?
The snake was flat, but the oboe player was still sharp
-or-
People pick up speed to run over the oboe
Give up?
The snake was flat, but the oboe player was still sharp
-or-
People pick up speed to run over the oboe
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
- Viggofonen
- bugler
- Posts: 35
- Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2004 9:18 am
- Location: Bergen, Norway
- Contact:
You bounce when you jump on the trampoline.Doc wrote:Difference between a trampoline and an oboe?
Jan Viggo Øwre
Norsk Tubaforum
The Norwegian Tuba Forum
_________________
-It's not heavy, it's my tuba!
Norsk Tubaforum
The Norwegian Tuba Forum
_________________
-It's not heavy, it's my tuba!